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Rant about VAC ignoring families are effected

I’m really sick and tired of Veteran Affaira ignoring the fact those of us with spouses with PTSD, anxiety, depression are effected by it.

I’m sick and tired of VAC not helping us because they think we should ether leave the veteran or just deal with it in ways we don’t know how. I act exactly like my spouse. Right to a T. I can’t get the proper help with someone who has experience in dealing with this.

I’m sick of fighting VAC to get me help with my spouse so I can learn how to handle how my spouse acts without feeding into it! Here they wonder why divorce rates in people with ptsd is so high. I can’t handle this and quite frankly I’m sick of making 100 calls a day to try to find help. We as spouses of a veteran do not matter in the eyes of VAC.

This is a sad but true reality. I think about suicide as much as my spouse does. How is his right? Feeling so lost and helpless.

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31 Responses

  1. Wendy Peers Wendy Peers says:

    You never mattered as a spouse while he/she was actively serving so why would it change now that he/she is released?

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  2. This breaks my heart. I hate that the government used all these vets and then turns their back on them when they need help! Vets should be very well taken care of and not just cast aside cause they have done their duty already. I see homeless vets too and wonder how in a Country that welcomes and supports so many people from other countries, sends money to other countries too, why are our veterans not being housed and properly cared for? ((HUGS)) Stay strong, you and your family deserve to get help and find peace.

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  3. This is a shame. They can’t even advise any routes you should seek with your general practitioner. I know that you have so many physiological visits through Alberta health ask about those. You need some one to talk to about this. Isn’t there any groups in the CAF for this spouses of??

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  4. It’s one thing for you to do all the phone calls…what is your spouse doing? Are they making the calls and seeing a therapist. If they are leaving it up to you, that might be why you’re not getting anywhere…your spouse needs to want the help and ask for the help, too. If they refuse, and think nothing is wrong…then that’s something you should seriously consider.

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    • I have PTSD. Making a phone call can feel extremely overwhelming to the point where it never happens which really sucks. Its a huge burden on the spouse/family member and it causes a huge amount of guilt with someone with ptsd.

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    • my point is, no one person (especially the one that doesn’t have PTSD), can make a person go to therapy, or use what programs ARE available if the one who is ill doesn’t want to. Short of forcing people into PTSD treatments, what do you think might be some good ideas? (I’m not being facetious…just wondering what kind of solutions you think might work?)

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    • I think it’s that the person making the calls wants their therapy covered. Not the person with ptsd. Theirs would be covered because they are the veteran

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    • Unfortunately, he may be in treatment. There are some treatments to help, but as I’ve been told, ptsd does not go away, so it’s a constant managing of symptoms with skills we learn in therapy. (Depending on the severity.) Spouses and families Christa really need to learn healthy boundaries and deal breakers for their relationship and caretaking. If someone is being abused by a ptsd sufferer, it should be a firm line in the sand drawn that the relationship is not safe anymore. If there is abuse, there is the domestic violence center. My daughter has set expectations for me for necessary life skills I have to deal with like doing my taxes. It was her boundary because I couldn’t access money in my account anymore because my anxiety was overwhelming. Her boundary saying, this has to happen actually helps me feel less anxious because it’s not a choice and I know I’m not going it alone either. She goes with me.

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    • Oh and for phone call making, my daughter will dial the phone and hand it to me to talk without warning. After, I’m like, “Omg, I feel like I had a heart attack!” Hahaha We laugh about my ptsd all the time.

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    • Marlo Cottrell it’s awesome that you and your daughter can work together as a team. That’s good advice! And Heather, partner therapy should be covered…I agree with that, too.

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    • Partner/family therapy is not covered for any other job (including jobs with high depression/suicide rates) so it’s not much different. It would be nice if it was but as a general rule those benefits only cover the worker

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  5. Please get in touch with OSISS. They have a family/peer support group that runs in the city. It is a really amazing group of mostly ladies who understand exactly what you are going through. It may not be professional counseling but I can tell you how much it helps to know you’re not alone. Feel free to pm me and I can get you contact information. I have been in your shoes and know how it strips you of yourself. Please reach out.

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  6. I too was the spouse of a soldier and I too know how you’re feeling. Speaking from experience, it isn’t until they pass away that VAC steps up. Does your spouse have a case worker you can contact directly? I know I haven’t had any issues with them, but perhaps it’s because mine had a “visible injury”? I am in no way diminishing what you are going through. I have been there. I am there. Please, if you need to talk, PM me. I am always here. ❤

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  7. mental health care sucks in Alberta! It’s not just veterns affected, but also children and famiilies, and schools. I knew a guy who was so fed up with his situation, he took himself down to the Alberta hospital and sat in a chair in the hall way for 3 days until a bed opened up. It was so sad to hear that, but it also made me realize that if you want to receive care, you have to force the system to acknowledge you. Advocating for yourself or your family can be overwhelmingly hard, but it seems like the only way to get help. If you and your spouse are suicidal, the both of you can go to one of the hospitals with psych wards here in Edmonton, walk into the ER, and say you are worried for your safety, and they will see you. If they try to send you home, refuse to leave. I know someone else who tried to commit suicide, and her son refused to take her home. She was admitted because her family stood there and said, no, you are not blowing us off. She’s received some great care after that. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourselves. No one will do it for you. All the best!

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  8. I just have to address the fact, if there is physical abuse happening in the home, there in the domestic violence center. I have PTSD, but physical violence, regardless of a person’s mental health diagnosis is not ok. It should be the deal breaker.

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  9. I hope you find Nirvana through all this messes whoever you may be try directing your concerns to your district case manager that’s who you need to ask for when you call the vac main line the districts are divided by postal codes

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  10. 211 may be able to help you access resources. Also some counselling private practices can direct bill to veterans affairs if money is a concern.

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  11. OSISS Call 780 973 4011 ext. 6975
    Feel free to pm me. The wonderful lady at this number knows where you are coming from. I chatted with her earlier and we both want you to know you are not alone. Please reach out . Sending you encouragement and support.

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  12. We also have been through hell and back with VAC.
    If you (or anyone) needs an war to listen, by all means msg me and let’s get together!
    Strength in numbers ❤️❤️❤️

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  13. I have been doing some research on vaccines, and these soldiers are forced to take numerous shots…if they do not, they could face jail or fines…I have read that these soldiers are test subjects and what is in these shots are leaving vets with severe depression, never mind the PTSD from what they endure in war-torn countries…sick and twisted…most people really don’t knows whats in these shots or vaccines…frankenstien stuff…among other things…the Gov’t should be paying for all vets to have therapy dogs

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  1. November 16, 2017

    […] This post is an update to: http://soyeg.club/rant-vac-ignoring-families-effected/ […]

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