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4 year old help

Please help!!! My 4 year old is soooo naughty.😫. He’s got a bit of an attitude. Throws tantrums frequently. Will straight up just ignore me when I ask him not to do something. He breaks house rules all the time and talks back to me! I am pretty strict. I work in child welfare so I feel like
I have a pretty good understanding of child-rearing( as much as you can lol). He gets lots of praise, there’s rules. He knows expectations. I get down on his level. I discuss things with him! I hug him when he’s losing his shit. I try not to yell. My husband and I don’t fight in front of him! He’s not terribly violent, just kinda rowdy…typical boy stuff usually. Just worried I’m ruining my child even though I’m doing what child-rearing sources and books say to do, because I cannot get this child ro behave himself. I love this child with every fiber of my being, but I find myself giving him shit often because he’s misbehaving. There are many hills I choose not to die on and just relax and expalin what he’s doing wrong, and give him some cool down time, when really he could use a smack on the butt!

He’s always losing his shit in public. I give him a warning, then I leave. I think it’s important to be consistent. If he misbehaves he loses the opportunity to do whatever we’re doing. He doesn’t watch a lot of television and he doesn’t spend much time on technology. Please tell me this will change. That if I just keep on with what I’m doing he’ll turn into a well-behaved little boy. Anyone else experienced this? Do they just turn out okay with consistency and love? Is it enough??? Right now I’m worried he’ll be the Kindergartner in the office or on the playground using horrible words soon.

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