SUBMIT A POST!

Am I crazy?

Im never good enough in his eyes. Everything is always my fault. Everything is criticized in a odd way, always things like “why would you cook it that way no one does that, you should have done it my way”.

Always changing the story, I will remember something said the day before and he will turn it and say he never said that. Maybe I’m just going crazy?

I don’t know what to do, he used to be so loving and sweet. Now I’m always doing something wrong. My heart hurts so bad I wonder how to change to be better for him. Same time I don’t get it, he got with me knowing who I was. Ah!

To add to this I’m pregnant. Every time I react to him when he’s being hurtful he says if I leave he’s taking the baby from me. His family has money and will make sure he gets what he wants. I’ve never felt so screwed up before.

71 TOTAL READS
124 SHARES
95 COMMENTS


SOME RELATED POSTS:

95 Responses

  1. Been there. Get out , it gets a thousand times worse after the baby

    [1]
  2. Kelley Ware Kelley Ware says:

    This is abusive behaviour. It’s called gaslighting. As hard as it is, you probably should get out. He’s being manipulative and abusive.

    [1]
  3. Get out now. That’s abuse. You are being abused. He sounds like a narccisist. Don’t take that shit. You don’t need it. Your baby won’t either.

    As a side note, this isn’t the place to get empathetic or compassionate advice.

    You’re better off calling 211 and getting some numbers for domestic abuse or family violence organizations that you can talk with.

    Both are happening under your roof.

    [1]
    • “Abuse” is a little extreme. at least according to this post OP is not being abused. being treated shittily is not abuse.

      please try and restrain yourself.

      [0]
    • Kelley Ware Kelley Ware says:

      Emotional and mental abuse IS abuse

      [0]
    • Kelley Ware Kelley Ware says:

      Just because he’s not hitting her doesn’t mean he isn’t being an abusive asshole

      [0]
    • Ever read up on any of it? That’d be a great plan.

      [0]
    • Tim Jacklin Tim Jacklin says:

      I think it is terrible to suggest she get out as soon as possible. There is family here , esp with a child coming. Some ppl throw away the work a marriage may require at the drop of a hat , and simply give up. There are a lot of things to sincerely consider and try to make your marriage better. He may be quite pliable to growth and understanding from such things as marriage counselling. You may be overly sensitive. Who knows. Chances are neither person is perfect. The both of you made a committment to make it work , so get on with the work. Good luck.

      [0]
    • No. Just no.

      Imperfect does not = Abuse is okay or acceptable.

      It takes 10 years for an abusive man to fully recover from being an abuser.

      That is 9-10 years too long to ask her, let alone a child to wait for him to get his shit together.

      Society has pressured people for far too long to stick around and stick it out all on the pretense of marriage.

      [0]
    • Tim Jacklin Tim Jacklin says:

      Families are the building block of the world. We all want a better world , but often ppl dont want to work at building a family or a world , just move on they say. I disagree. Fail if you must , but try your damndest before you get to that point of absolute fail. Again, this child in the making deserves more than simply parents who moved on without giving his or her family their best effort.

      [0]
    • Tim Jacklin 1# She never said she was married, you’re assuming on that. 2# Mental abusers rarely even know they are doing it so unless they get professional help, they will never stop doing what they have no clue they are doing. 3# There is never a good reason to stay with someone who abuses you, it isnt good for you and most definitely not good for the child. Any stress the mother feels is stress the unborn child feels. 4# Telling a female she is imagining things or over sensitive is stupid, and a flippen male copout.

      [0]
    • On that note I have no idea why anyone would post to this form about their problems. People love to rip others apart….it makes them feel better for some strange reason. Why put yourself through that? Trolls are a very common thing now a days and I would never set myself up for more abuse from the general public…….which is what you’re doing OP. I hope you get the help you need, ignore the idiots and know that you have to take care of yourself and your baby.

      [0]
    • Marie says:

      Ian Lambertus – It’s abuse. What planet do you come from?

      [0]
    • Ian Lambertus wtf?

      [0]
    • Tim Jacklin I agree that people walk away from the commitments too easily, but this guy is never going to change no matter how much counselling he has. He is neither empathetic or sympathetic even to her current condition during pregnancy. He is a jerk, simple as that!

      [0]
    • Fallon Paul Fallon Paul says:

      Ian Lambertus were you dropped on your head as a child Ian ? Please tell me you’re single as fuck because every woman knows better then to be within 100 yards of you ?

      [0]
    • fuck that.

      if you can’t handle being told your cooking sucks or that youre crazy or that if you leave me im taking the kid then the problem lies with you. im embarassed for you if you think this qualifies as abuse

      [-1]
  4. Get the fuck away from this person. He’s a narcissistic abusive piece of shit .

    [1]
  5. Jill Morin Jill Morin says:

    Did past me write this ?!

    My ex was like this.
    It started off with him being sweet. He’d buy me flowers, compliment me, open car doors, etc.
    Then he did a complete 180.
    Everything was my fault, he’d forget that he did or said certain things and get mad at me when I reminded him.
    It got very verbally abusive, and only kept getting worse.

    Girl, you need to leave him. That is so toxic. No one deserves to live that way.

    [1]
  6. It’s call gaslighting and his true colours are finally showing… please… if you do anything. Run, now. Before that baby is born

    [1]
  7. 1) its impossible to know your level of sanity without hearing his version of events
    2) sounds terrible but think about an abortion. then no one gets to steal the child from the other parent

    [0]
    • Think about a abortion. Holy shit. Have you thought of jumping off a bridge.
      She is being controlled and is having emotional depression and you say a abortion. WTF

      [0]
    • David Woodford I agree with you David… if an abortion was even a consideration in this woman’s mind, she would not be on here asking for advice.

      [0]
  8. Yes, you’re probably crazy, but that doesn’t excuse his behaviour towards you.

    [0]
  9. It’s called gaslighting. Trying to make you doubt your memory, make you think you’re the problem and that you’re crazy. Google it

    [0]
    • I was just going to say the same. it’s gaslighting and it’s a form of abuse. I have experienced it first hand and it is the most unbelievable feeling of feeling crazy and wrong and out of control. please get help and please get out.

      [1]
    • Marie says:

      Hmmm, something this reader never heard of before. Gonna google that!

      [0]
    • Yup classic gaslighting. They love to put the blame on others, but trust what you see with you own eyes and not what other people say to see with your own eyes. 😉

      [0]
  10. Leave!! Regardless if you’re pregnant. He will have to really prove to the court that you are unfit mother. That isn’t love and you shouldn’t have to change because of some ass.

    [0]
  11. Is he drinking? Does he have a gambling problem? Why the behaviour change? There is more to this

    [0]
  12. Amanda Mae Amanda Mae says:

    GASLIGHTING. you’re being abused.

    [0]
  13. Look up narcissistic that’s what he is. You need help to leave they are very persuasive I should know both my mate and I are narcissistic hahahahaha

    [0]
  14. Byron Balash Byron Balash says:

    LEAVE NOW!!!! You won’t the baby.

    [0]
  15. Leave. He’s not worth it. As for the child, his family may have money, but really consider how much they would ACTUALLY be willing to work out for lawyer fees and court costs. And no court in Canada will ever give sole custody to one parent over another without proof that you are unfit. Examples are drug and alcohol abuse (current, not in the past) mental or emotional problems such as severe depression requiring hospitalization or dementia that could hurt or harm the child. And as long as you have the basic necessities in your home such as food, clothing, heat and water there is almost nothing he can do to take the child

    [0]
  16. No you’re not crazy but someone else may be. Be proud of who you are and work on making your life important. You matter, so do what is best for you.

    [0]
  17. let him waste his money. start documenting things now. write everything down record anything you think is getting out of control. that way if he takes you to court you have evidence he is the problem. also when you have baby if you don’t put his name on the birth certificate he doesn’t have legal rights until he takes you to court for a paternity test.. more money he will have to blow.. if you stay it will get worse.. it’s better to stay quiet and not talk to him in any way that’s confrontational as guys like that look for that kind of reaction from you.

    [0]
  18. If you wait it only gets harder!! Give yourself the gift of choosing better!

    [0]
  19. This is called gaslighting and it’s a form of abuse

    [0]
  20. Katie Pearse Katie Pearse says:

    Total asshole!!!

    [0]
  21. Tell the dumbass to make his own damn meals…and no; he can`t take your baby.

    [0]
  22. Felicia Rene Felicia Rene says:

    This sounds like a manipulative, gaslighting toxic person. Don’t make yourself believe you need to change or be better. All you should consider is how long you want to put up with someone that is critical of you instead of uplifting for you.

    [0]
  23. Felicia Rene Felicia Rene says:

    Oh and start logging every single little thing. For the sake of the custody battle in the future.

    [0]
  24. Marie says:

    OP – your situation sounds terrible. Sounds as though you are living with one controlling, self-centered-egotistical-threatening bastard! Am I close?
    Sounds as though he is the one who has changed – not you. Perhaps being the reason you can no longer identify with ‘self.’
    Sounds as though he may have another woman, being the reason he is beating you down (mentally and emotionally). Sounds as though he is blatantly showing you he’s unhappy.
    Start planning for ‘yourself.’ Best you decided sooner than later (pregnant or not pregnant) whether or not you can see a future with this person. And don’t try and fool yourself.
    I would say, Yes. Sounds like you’ve found yourself in a screwed up situation. Hence ‘never felt so screwed up before.’
    One question comes to mind. Are you in a same/similar culture relationship? For there’s a big chance IMHO that if you are not – whoa – you’d be wise to figure on getting professional advice somewhere along the line and just maybe get the hell out.
    I know of more mixed-cultural relationship horror stories, the ones that didn’t work our … versus the ones I know of that seem to have worked out.
    All food for thought OP. I am only surmising your situation.

    [0]
  25. Carol Maser Carol Maser says:

    Nope he is,,,, Next time he criticizes you, tell him to do it himself

    [0]
  26. I left the same situation six months ago but there was no baby (thank the gods)

    Get out now before you waste almost ten years of your life like i did. Its abusive and its bullshit.

    [0]
  27. Betty Jean Betty Jean says:

    First off if he does not like how you cook..give him the kitchen and tell him to show you how it’s done

    [0]
    • Betty Jean Betty Jean says:

      I would pack my stiff when he is not home and leave. It’s abuse and things will only get worse. Leave before the baby is born. He cannot take the baby from you for no reason

      [0]
  28. Rowena Eger Rowena Eger says:

    Get away from this person NOW!!! You are a worthy human being and deserve people in your life who build you up and support you! Don’t let this person chip away what little is left of your self esteem! Get out NOW! As long as you put your child first and are willing to accept help you have no fear of losing your child,the first step in putting your child first is to make sure his/her mother is safe,in mind,body and spirit! I beg you to get out NOW!

    [0]
  29. Stand up to this asswipe and tell him he is going senile and get out. This is abuse and to deal with him you have to be very strong if you feel confused get out. It means he has accomplished his goal.

    [0]
  30. Anita Genaille. This is exactly what I posted about on my wall! The OP needs to go read it!

    [0]
  31. Its called abuse and it will not get better.

    [0]
  32. Wow I never knew there was a name on it my ex Patrick Drolet is just like this 3.5 years of emotional and mental abuse narcissistic behaviors

    [0]
  33. Cindy Dato Cindy Dato says:

    Your going to change for him? Are u serious? You must really love him as he abuses you everyday. Let him say what he wants. I’m not sure if u have bank accounts together, but when he goes to work, go to the bank and open your own account. Don’t tell no body about it, including your family. Go through the house and collect all your valubles, things you want. Get a second bag and put some clothes in it, money, extra car keys, if u have a second car. Things are going to get worse, not better. And please DO NOT CHANGE FOR HIM. There is nothing wrong with you, it’s him. It doesn’t matter if u both go to counseling. He’s got to change on his own, you can’t change him. Don’t even try to, you’ll make it worse. I’ve been through this with a family member, and let me tell you how hard it’s going to get. Your not crazy, but if u continue to stay with him, it will be the biggest mistake you’ll make. Do u have any close, well trusted family you can go to?

    [0]
  34. Wow. He sucks to have said that bullshit

    [0]
  35. Leave him and report the mental abuse.

    [0]
  36. Okay so if absolutely nothing else in your relationship changed, how long could you live with him? News flash, you ain’t gonna change him. Baby won’t either. So either accept that This is what you will have to deal with every day, or get out.

    [0]
  37. Dina Lori Dina Lori says:

    That’s called ‘gaslighting’. It’s what abusers do to make us feel like we are the crazy one. They never take responsibility for their own actions. You need to run far away from this guy. It’s only going to get worse! I’ve lived it and survived… I never thought I’d be able to leave him but it’s been three years now and I’m so much happier!

    [0]
  38. Erin Saville Erin Saville says:

    That my friend is a narcissist and he’s gaslighting you. Get out, get far and get away. That’s the only why today deal with narcissists

    [0]
  39. Robyn Jewell Robyn Jewell says:

    So have a baby …smh

    [0]
  40. You are dealing with a narcissist. Seek support and leave.

    [0]
  41. sounds like my ex. you need to get out it will get worse!

    [0]
  42. Mal Esther Mal Esther says:

    Three sides to every story. His, hers and the truth. Hard to comment especially when you are also pregnant. Hormones can make us react and see things in a very emotional way.

    [0]
  43. Amber Dawn Amber Dawn says:

    He is gaslighting you and abusive… based on your post. Get out now, find a way to work together for the baby. He can’t just take it from you. Please seek professional help. The city offers 6 free counseling sessions call 211

    [0]
  44. Look up NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOUR. No matter how hard you try, what you do will NEVER be good enough. Walk away from this debilitating relationship, talk to him about counseling for an empathetic-narcissistic relationship, or do nothing and end up on anxiety, depression, narcotic meds. There’s 3 choices to choose from, choose wisely

    [0]
  45. He can’t just take your baby from you

    [0]
  46. He is abusive and this will only get worse once the baby comes this is called gaslighting and this is what a narcissist does. Get out before the baby comes, get an agenda book and document absolutely everything, as long as you document things it will hold up in court. He is the father and does have rights too and the way the court sees it even though he is abusive to you doesn’t mean he will be towards the baby and therefore he will have access to the child… but get out before baby comes, he probably won’t like it much if you leave him he will probably become further abusive and possibly stalk you this as scary as it will be can give you good grounds in court at least it did for me. Keep in mind this will cure his narcissistic ways and he will always be there around the corner and trust me these fuckers find ways to control you all the while keeping within the boundaries of the law. Be brave love yourself and know you are better off without him! Your baby too!

    [0]
  47. Gaslighting at its finest!! Talk to a family lawyer get some advice. He cant just “take your baby” away from you! Him having money would certainly help but he would need to prove you to be an unfit mother. And he siunds like hes pwving the road now to making you so insecure that your afraid to leave him. He wants you to feel like you have nothing without him. Its not true! Hes likely turned you against your family and closest frienda also. Sounds like your on the right path to knowing what a loser this man is. But I certai ly understand its harder when your carrying his child but if you want and keep letting him do this to you it will be much harder to get away from him at a leter time wheb you feel even more invested. Just advice to you! Get out now while you can! His abuse will get worse. You are NOT crazy! Trust your gut!

    [0]
  48. Brandy Wells Brandy Wells says:

    Wow girl I totally been there , you’ll be alright but you better get your self esteem in check and get over what ever the hell he wants bc your a human being and you an baby deserve a way better man that guys a clown as loser I can smell him from here ❤❤

    [0]
  49. Brandy Wells Brandy Wells says:

    Ps your not crazy! At all but your surrounding your self with assholes such feels the same

    [0]
  50. Fallon Paul Fallon Paul says:

    Run, run for the fucking hills

    [0]
  51. Classic narcissistic personality. Gas lighting is hard to get past but try to trust yourself

    [0]
  52. Laura Hunt Laura Hunt says:

    Gaslighting …unfortunately…being pregnant can trigger abuse in some men who have this tendency in the first place. Sorry to hear hon. Call 211 and ask for info about agencies that can help you get out.

    [0]
  53. Irene Bakker Irene Bakker says:

    Tell buddy to beat it or you’re calling the cops and you will take his rights away cause he’s an abusive sack of shit and you will prove it in a court room if he doesn’t get it

    [0]

Join the Discussion!