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Broken hearted.

Hi, good day. THIS MIGHT BE A LONG POST!
25+ years ago my dad married a terrible woman, he didn’t ask my sister or I how we felt about her and he had no idea what was going on behind the scenes while he was at work (he’s a trucker). She had a son she treated like a prince and he chose to remain ignorant and still does to this day.

But despite being mentally disabled(I knew her when I was between the ages of 8-12 and I’m autistic, hard of hearing, I have very slow motor and mental skills). I was beaten and constantly grounded for reasons she would make up(she couldn’t abide the sight of her husbands mentally disabled daughter). I was not fed much as she didn’t think I was worth cooking for so I had to earn my meals.

She knew dad would believe her lies over anything I said so when I would tell her the truth, she would take out a belt and hit me with it everywhere, then, when dad got home, she would tell him I’d lied and he would belt me when he got home ( so I’d get it twice). This is just the tip of the iceberg too. Anyways, he’s divorcing her now, 25 years while my sister and I continue to mentally struggle after the mental and emotional scars she’s left on us both.

Is there anything I can do about her? Is it too late to take her to court and either sue her or send her to jail? You can’t call her, she’s crazy and you can’t get a word in as she rambles crazily. We’ve tried talking to dad, to not be so generous with her but he’s anxious to get married to his new gf who’s in the Philippines. and no, we can’t just “let it go”. Child abusers should never ever be allowed to rest, even if they’re mentally insane.

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24 Responses

  1. I don’t have an answer but I am terribly sorry for what you went through. Your dad should have listened to you and your sister. I do hope karma gets her… twice!!

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  2. Do yourself a favor and get help and move forward.

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  3. Karen Olson Karen Olson says:

    It sounds like you need to rid yourself of all her ‘misgivings’. Write a long, long, long letter to her. Seal it in an envelope an burn it outside. The universe will work its ways on your behalf. Be patient the universe is large and may take time. hugs,,,,

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  4. I cried reading what happened to you. I really don’t think is late to take her to jail. The best think you could do it to talk to a lawyer. I’m sorry for what happened to you from the bottom on my heart.

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  5. Dad is divorcing her and already has a girlfriend in the Philippines? I think there are too many issues at play here. I hope you can let go the past and concentrate on the future.

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  6. Mj Mank Mj Mank says:

    Horrible. I’m sorry you had to endure future step monster and step mom steer. You can lay charges on her for a use. Call 18006611095 press *then press 0 to get to the operator. Tell her child abuse law in Edmonton. She will give you the name of three lawyers to speak to 1/2 hour free from each. Good luck. And if you have not seek counselling for your healing please consider doing so.

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  7. It is called the Past for a reason. When your past talks to you it has nothing new to say… Time to move forward, you have nothing to gain from your past.

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  8. Sounds like your Dad is a child abuser too – if not physical, mental. I am sorry you have gone through all of this. I hope you and your sister. Can make your own family and leave these two out.

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  9. Please talk to someone who deals with this subject..If there is no legal recourse , do it for your own peace of mind and to be able to mive past it…
    Maria Leclair when your past speaks to you most times it’s your mind and body’s way of letting you know you are now ready to deal with it…This I know from experience..It needs to be released..
    Good luck OP and I hope you find peace with it all..♡

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  10. Mya Pinion Mya Pinion says:

    I’m sorry you’ve got this going on. I’ve been through very similar, as some will always say. TBH I could go back on said family if I wanted. I would not. Karma will come. Take care of yourself, you will end up looking like the bad guy as you are now wanting to do something about it- years later, as well convieniently after a divorce, I’m assuming. It’s not worth it. I’ve had abuse like you couldn’t imagine including foster homes. you will overcome, don’t treat abuse like a crutch. treat like a super power. You’re probably stronger then you think, as well the majority. I know I am. I hope you take this to heart, an get some help for yourself.

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  11. I am so sorry for what you went through. Ask yourself though, do you want to spend a lot of time drudging up the past or do you want to heal yourself and start a life of your own away from those that hurt and abused you? It’s horrible to think your step mom and dad may get away with it but if you are unable to have your step mom go to jail, don’t let the anger ruin your ability to have an amazing future with people who show you nothing but compassion. I highly suggest that you seek help to assist you with healing yourself so you are able to move on regardless of whether or not legal action is taken. I wish you nothing but the best.

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  12. Unfortunately, unlike some people on here I know that the past is what shapes you. And the memories live in the future, you can’t just forget them. You can suffer from severe PTSD and other disorders from abuse. Especially physical, so people who are saying to just “let it gooooo” should understand that it’s very very very hard. It’s like depression or other mental disorders who don’t “choose” for it to affect you.

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  13. I know people have charged people with old crimes like this.. not sure how they do it, or the outcome, I would ask for professional help, start by talking to “victim services”. If you have a diary of the abuse or any old photos for sure that would help, but I think your sister would also support your claims against the woman. What I don’t know is if you would sue her (get money for yourself) or have her criminally charged with child abuse. You really need to speak to a professional. Also your dad didn’t need your permission to marry the bitch, its terrible he didn’t believe you but desperate lonely people are often blinded by what they think is love.

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  14. Larissa Dee Larissa Dee says:

    Statute of limitations in this situation would be 10 years as far as I know: http://www.qp.alberta.ca/documents/acts/l12.pdf

    You’ve likely missed the boat. Your best course of action is to remove her from your life and seek counselling, as seeking this in the form of a lawsuit is likely to span over years and years (*if* it even qualified for a lawsuit) and simply put off emotional healing.

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  15. I hate child abusers right to my very core. I think your Dad needs to take some serious responsibility for this as he was supposed to protect you and he failed miserably. I think some of the previous posters might be right that it might be too late to press charges but it never hurts to talk to legal aide. I hope you find some peace and closure.

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  16. Oh my… what a complete cunt. Sorry, to be obviously blatant. But she deserves to be sued for mental cruelty. Get your medical records for your past years, hospitalizations, psychiatry records (if applicable) and your sister. Together you could probably take legal action…And sorry to have to add this, but add your father in the lawsuit. His ignorance and abuse is just as bad as hers was.
    Don’t forgive these assholes until YOU feel they have paid for their crimes…
    my heart hurts for you and I hope your life gets better after you get help dealing with this. Best of luck!

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  17. Not saying that there is, but just in case you’re omitting it, if there was any sexual abuse involved, there is no limit on how long you can file a report to the police. However, the real key is to heal regardless of what happens to them. Easier said than done as I am still trying to heal. Get counselling though. It has helped me more than anything.

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  18. Leon Woo Leon Woo says:

    Bring her to justice is not worth your time, considering to know her presence, where she is what she work how she does and you can start to play with her every single days

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  19. What an awful woman! But……I honestly feel like your dad must’ve known. I don’t think he’s innocent in all this. My advice, would be to go to counselling just yourself, and try family counselling with your dad and sister. She’s not worth wasting a dime on in legal fees. She’s not worth the effort either. Focus your energy on positive things, part of which, is moving forward, not looking back. Good luck to you 🙂

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  20. Tara Kolach Tara Kolach says:

    If you punish the step mom, you would have to punish your father as well.

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  21. Forgiveness is all you can do.
    You can’t change the past but you can decide your future.

    You’re strong enough and you’ve got this!!!

    Your problem isn’t with her, it’s with your father.
    Good luck.
    Let this be a teaching tool in your own life.

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