Ending a friendship

Im wondering if anyone has experience in cutting ties with a long time friend? I had to do that today and it was super hard. I found out that this friend was lying to me and would always gossip about everyone. She was also putting me down behind my back and sharing things I didn’t want her to share about my personal life. She always has chaos in her life and if you try to give her advice she blows up in your face if you say something she doesn’t want to hear. I dont know if I’m being a b*tch by saying enough is enough. I have tried to confront her about her behaviour and she just gets mad and defensive. I told her I was ending our friendship and blocked her.



34 Responses

  1. Good on you! Nothing bitchy about it.

  2. Terry Curtis Terry Curtis says:

    Am so sorry…..I too miss my friend…..but we went different directions

  3. Ending old friendships is hard, but if it is necessary for your mental health and well being, then you know it needs to be done. I’ve grieved the loss of friendships where I was stunned to realize that the person was not who I thought they were, and their cumulative behaviours could no longer be excused. It may be a difficult time as you process the loss of a friendship you used to think was steadfast, but once you have processed it and adjusted to life without them, hopefully you will find the peace that they were robbing you of and you can move on with your life.

  4. Good on you, I’ve had to do this a few times. You need to focus on yourself and stop worrying about the toxic friend.

  5. Same thing about a year ago. I would always consider a future friendship waaayyyyu down the road, but with caution.

  6. Sounds like we knew the same girl…best to cut ties and forever enjoy the stress..drama and bullshit free life..who needs it?

  7. I had to do that several years ago…our kids are still great friends but i can all the ties with this person…

  8. Yes I have lost long term friendship due to lack of understanding ptsd. And other things. I think people walk away so easy in Alberta. It’s pretty sad actually but if you ve been abused and lied to that’s different you don’t deserve that. Nobody deserves that and if this person doesn’t understand and maintain an equal relationship then it’s better it ended.

  9. Why is it everyone we don’t like anymore suddenly becomes toxic? That word is thrown around so carelessly it has lost all meaning.

    Seriously, how is what you’re doing right now any better? Anonymity isn’t completely anonymous if people you know recognize the situation. Unless that person maliciously tried to hurt you then this was so unnecessary. If I was your ex-friend and saw I was being put on blast over a private disagreement I would feel hurt and humiliated. I would feel relieved to have a person like you out of my life. People only ever do this to receive a big circle jerk of validation. They never, ever call themselves out on anything they might have done wrong, it’s only ever that the other person at 100% fault. It’s immature at best.

    When friendships/relationships end all people can ever focus on is the negatives. If you were emotionally intimate with a person over a long stretch of time chances are they weren’t always Satan. I’ve walked away from friendships before. Things don’t work out, long standing issues become too much, people change, etc. Yeah I’ve felt bad. But it’s sometimes for the best. Unless they were outright an abusive monster I’ve had enough respect for the previous friendship to attempt to do so quietly.

    Friendly word of advice, not everyone turning to you for support is looking to have their problems fixed. Sometimes it’s enough to have someone listen. It can be very frustrating to have someone constantly try to ‘fix’ you when all you wanted was someone to be there.

    • Jay Mannbush Jay Mannbush says:

      Charlotte I agree.
      Instead of friends working through problems now, it’s just block and move on, it’s really immature.

    • I’ve been on three sides of this. I’ve been the person leaving, the person left, and a witness to friendships breaking up. I’m far from perfect, but seeing a person I care about immediately act like I’m garbage in a very public way over a bad exchange really changed my perspective on who they were. It didn’t feel worth trying to work it out with someone who was so quick to throw away years of friendship for a bit of attention and a few likes on FB. If things aren’t working it’s so much better to handle it like an adult instead of making a circus out of it.

      In seeing another person’s friendship break down I saw both parties acting very badly. Both were twisting the truth to make it seem like the other person was ‘toxic’ to justify their decision to end the friendship. A lot of it becomes a performance for social media to come out with the cleanest reputation. It’s a mess.

    • I was tossed aside even though I didn’t lean on anyone through my hardship but of course after decades of friendship I guess I wasn’t grovelling and making apologies like I previously did I stopped bowing and behaving like I was beneath everyone around me. I finally started feeling equal and this person couldn’t handle that

  10. It does not matter how long you’ve been friends with someone. If you felt the relationship was toxic, you’ve made the right choice – well done 🙂 Life is too short to spend on people who would rather hurt you than love you.

  11. Yes I’ve had a long term friendship break down You can cut ties but, sadly, she will always talk shit about you

  12. Go for it. Me and a good friend of mine both had to do this with a close friend. She was so toxic, full of drama and would never hear us out. In the end you feel so much better, especially long term.

  13. People like that deserve a good “ghosting” dont stress over giving up someone like that…just disappear….

  14. Xavier Paddy Xavier Paddy says:

    You’re learning to love yourself. Keep at it

  15. Good for you! Toxic people, whether family or friends stop us from have a life full of positivity. No one needs false friendships. If she truly was a real friend she would support you and maintain confidences instead of going behind your back. Feel good about your decision, head up and live your life your way.

  16. I ended mine when she knew the truth but was so afraid of someone getting angry that she would utter it that she did the cowardly hiding behind silence and dishing out “hugs” to the other party rather than telling them the truth. Oh, and telling me “I love you to death” or “I’d do anything for you”. Everything but utter the truth to someone who needed to hear it.
    Done and dusted. 25 years of friendship and you bet the truth mattered more than anything else.

  17. Sometimes this is the kindest thing to do.

  18. M Lissa Sch M Lissa Sch says:

    I’ve been doing that lately too. I used to be the kind of person who looked past nearly everything and put up with things, but I’ve come to realize that it is a drain and can affect you in ways that you don’t notice… You only get one life to live, and what you allow is what you continue. It’s not wrong to end friendships that affect you negatively, especially if chances have been given.

  19. Mike Luu Mike Luu says:

    You should feel super awesome!!! 1 one less toxic person in your life. Go out make some new friends!

  20. Jan Crouch Jan Crouch says:

    You shouldn’t feel bad. Anyone whose behaviour is like that is a frenemy: a person with whom one is friendly despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry. Friend is: .
    a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.,

  21. Shelley Lohr Shelley Lohr says:

    YOU ARE ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU. Do not feel bad you’ll miss the good times but from what I read they were not often as of late. I think we’ve all done this we feel obligated after a while and when we drop the person we lose over 100lbs off our shoulders.

  22. Clearly she is not a friend

  23. Life is too short to have unsupportive and unloving people in your life. Cut her loose, and know you’re the bigger person for making efforts. The trick now is to stop caring, and that’ll come. Move on and be stronger for it. (P.S. no animosity, no badmouthing, nothing negative from you, ok?)

  24. Lynn Anne Lynn Anne says:

    I had a very similar circumstance after a 20 year friendship – Toxic people have no place in your life – yes, you will miss the friendship but you’re actually only missing the person you were hoping she was and not the person she really was. 😉 Best of luck –

  25. DO NOT FEEL BAD. This is health for you. She is not your friend by any means. You need to be rid of toxic.

  26. Yup cut my ties with the most shady bitch couldn’t be around someone who was clearly talking shit behind my back so i cut ties with her in the most subtle way

  27. Randi Adams Randi Adams says:

    Don’t feel bad, Sometimes you have to cut out the negative things/people in life to be happy. She doesn’t seem like a supportive friend anyway.

  28. Arcand Dee Arcand Dee says:

    Walk away and dont look back. If she can do it once she’ll do it again and again. Ive walked away from alot of friends. Best thing i ever did.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *