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Feeling guilty

I know I will get judged on it. But I am already doing it to myself anyhow.

Last week I had met someone at work and my car broke down so this guy drove me home. He needed to use the phone because his cell died so I invited him in. I called my husband first to tell him.

We just sat downstairs and chatted for over an hour. Suddenly he kissed me. And I did kiss him back. It was for a second but still happened. After that I said no. He gave me a long thing about wanting something with me but I said no and told him to leave.

He has sent me a text message to tell me how much he wants to be with me. I did not answer yet. I said I am married. I don’t have anything else to add.

I felt so guilty about the kiss. My husband was home and asleep during this entire time (I thought he was not home but when my co-worker left I went upstairs and realized my husband was home). I told my husband what happened. He said he forgives me. We have had some marriage issues due to something he did (not cheating) and we’ve been working on our marriage. He said I did not lie to him. I told him what happened right away. The guy kissed me, I participated but it was one kiss and I stopped it.

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

My husband is acting like it is no big deal. But I feel horribly guilty. How can I be this person who is married and kissing someone else? I never thought I could do that and I am so ashamed.

The other person I may have to work with. I still don’t know what to say to him.

I can’t shake off the guilt. Worse, I can’t stop seeing that kiss play out in my head when I am awake or asleep. How do I stop it?

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62 Responses

  1. You have to let it go….. unless you’re attracted to him which would explain the guilt…..

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  2. The kiss should not have happened and YOU could have stopped it. Cheater

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  3. Janet Wilde Janet Wilde says:

    Hope he reads this ba ha ha

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  4. Jessie Smith Jessie Smith says:

    You kissed someone. Yes u have the right to feel guilty but your hubby isn’t mad at you. Stop beating yourself up over it.

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  5. Sounds like the beginning of a affair.

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  6. The only person you owe anything to is yourself and your husband. Focus on that first. If you feel guilty even though he forgives you then work on that and focus on rebuilding things within your marriage one item at a time, before you k ow it you ll look back and realize how far you ve come and possible even forgiven yourself as well. But I do not recommend continuing to bring it up due to your own guilt as it ll just make things worse for him

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  7. Hmmm..is it possible that you did this and told your husband to get a reaction from him? Only you didn’t get the reaction you wanted and now you feel guilty?

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  8. You made a mistake and owned up to your husband about it. That shows maturity, so give yourself credit for that.
    You feel guilty because either you don’t believe that your husband truly forgives you, or because you can’t forgive yourself.
    If it’s the former, talk to him about it. Figure out what you need from him for you to believe that he’s being honest about how he feels.
    If it’s the latter, perhaps it’s because you did something you never thought you were capable of. You went against one of your values and are having difficulty accepting this.
    Remember: you are human. All humans make mistakes. Let this be a learning experience. Grow from this. Use your guilt to better yourself so you won’t betray yourself or your husband again.
    I would also recommend therapy – both individual therapy for yourself, and couples therapy for the both of you. This will allow you to move past this and forgive yourself, as well as building a stronger marriage.

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    • Marcus you have no right to speak to her like that. Futher you need to look up the definition of a slut cause you obviously don’t know what the word means

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  9. Omg you’re a straight up cunt

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  10. Talk to him. It’s natural to be flattered by someone else’s attention. You’re married, not dead. As long as you never cross that line again and communicate with your husband about how the situation is affecting you, including the thoughts you’ve shared now, all you’re doing is creating the foundation for an open and honest relationship.

    I’d kiss back on reflex alone. But you didn’t initiate the kiss, you cut it off early, you told the individual you’re not interested and you told your husband immediately. Talk about how the kiss made you feel and see if you can incorporate it into spicing up your intimacy. And don’t beat yourself up. We’ve all been caught in awkward situations before.

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  11. We all have lapses of judgement you need to forgive yourself.

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  12. Big hugs.
    First off, congrats on telling your husband. It was hard, and even though you guys are working our things, you told him.
    Are you guys in counselling?

    In regards of your co worker, I would avoid him. Don’t encourage him, don’t do anything that involves being with him, etc. But I would first be firm with him, then stay away.

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  13. Im guessing evn tho He said he forgivs you. He probly is hurt still. To kinda shrug it off probly means tht the other issues ar more of a problem in his mind at this time. Men bottle emotions so much more than women. I wouldnt pester with lets talk. Lets talk bt make sure he knws tht when he is ready to talk you want too. The other thing is i think he needs to write some stuff down. Section his stress bcaus the other stresses ar probly on rotation in his mind nd sometimes not being able resolve thos stresses ends up with ppl feeling overwhelmed nd then they jst decide to do the simple thing. Which seems like a solution bt usually is the wrong way deal with it. Separation Bcaus being ovrwhelmed thinks mayb i jst need space. It wouldnt be bcaus of you or thes little problems. Its unresolved bigger issues tht he doesnt knw how to communicate.

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    • I think he needs talk with someone to go back to wher he started feeling like something ws wrong. Evn if some thes stresses ar things tht cant be resolved. Or changed. He needs get it out of his mind. Sometimes jst thinking. Tht sux. Ther ws nothing i could do. Or i wish tht ws different. Thos thoughts caus ppl alnost mentally shut down. Caus depression.

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    • If someone. Especially Men feels like they hve failed or is failing. They push ppl away. It would be good deal with the stresses than. You 2 can rekindle. Do lots romantic stuff. Ppl get settled nd comfy nd kinda forget romance

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    • Lots ppl seperate bcaus when especailly men go into deep thoughts. Sometimes they dont evn realise wht they ar thinking. Thts wht allot of deep thoughts ar. Our minds trying remeber. If cant consciously fully remeber. Means tht its something tht we dont want to remeber bt thoughts being on rotaion. Our minds want it to be dealt with. Its something we ar trying to forget. Bt our minds wants to remeber. So its a fight within ourselves. Ive explained it better befor. Bt. Its how our minds store memories. This is something cant do nything about at the time. Bt it botherd the person. So its stored. Hve to surface it to deal with it.

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    • Ive studied allot of mental training techniques. Nd natural healing methods. I can volunteer advice. PM me if you want.

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  14. Lmao. Weakkkkkkkkkk

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  15. Accept it happened, accept your emotions on it and just let it go by living your life.
    As for work, make clear boundaries. Only you can control your life.

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  16. hi im looking for a troy stromburg reelestate agent , wen i was about ten i built a house i gave troy 2 million dollers to keep it safe for me till i turn 32 years old and a extra 60 000 for property taxis on it , i am 32 now and currently live at the shelter with my money under my home please help me find him , i have tape recordings with judge wong and lopeen and i think akrum of him excepting the money and of the land purchise and the wood receets and receets for my workers and meterals , he might of changed his name and i think baught a ornge lambogini

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  17. Joyce Smith Joyce Smith says:

    Truthfully why post your dirty laundry out here go talk to a therapist no one really cares

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  18. Lois Sunley Lois Sunley says:

    forgive yourself you were open and upfront immediately and your husband forgives you … time you do

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  19. Shit happens. Move on

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  20. Seems like more are empathetic and I agree with that. Forgive yourself. Your coworker crossed the line and does not respect you. I am proud of you for being honest with your husband and yourself. Don’t let what happened destroy what you have. As for working with your coworker, keep in mind what he truly wanted, which was a fix to his own needs. He was only thinking of himself and not what it would do to you or your marriage. Xoxo

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  21. Kissing another man while married is no mistake

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  22. Sounds like your husbands guilty of something too since he’s not very upset…..maybe he’s like “whew”.

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  23. You’re replaying the events because you’re trying to process and make sense of it all. Take some time to let your brain do this, meditate, cry, whatever it takes. It’s going to take you some time to get past, but be kind to yourself. Life is stressful, marriage doesn’t make it easier, lol.
    Regardless your coworker had no right pursuing you when you were open about your marriage and said no. I’m pissed off for you.

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  24. Ralph Moore Ralph Moore says:

    Your an idiot for tellling if I was your husband it would be my excuse to cheat

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  25. Mike Pierce Mike Pierce says:

    Based on the weak, pathetic response from your so called husband, it’s just going to keep happening. You practically begged for him to punish and restrain you, but he failed to do so. Ultimately, it is his fault.

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  26. Don’t let it get to you talk to God he can help you I am will

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  27. You keep saying you’re married and that’s why you feel guilty but not once have you said you love your husband. Sounds you talked more eith this person than you did your husband about this issue. Emotional cheating is far worse than physically cheating in my books. But both are also deal breakers for me too!

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  28. Julia Bryce Julia Bryce says:

    if you called your husband first, to tell him would you not have known he was home? why did the co worker need to use the phone and maybe you should have let him use your cell. this all sounds screwy, but i hope you and your husband work things out.

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  29. The next time this guy approaches you and tries to kiss you tell him you are married and you tell him he is cruisin for a brusin and tell him to never do it again. You have to be firm with these men other wise they will constantly bother you. Read up on harassment or take a harassment course. Don’t pussy foot around these kind of people. Be strong.

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  30. Please don’t be so hard on yourself….you made a mistake and then you did the right thing…

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