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have you walked a mile in someone else’s shoes?

For those of you who complain that people have asked for help around Christmas, saying “oh but Christmas comes every Dec 25th”…”save $20 here or there”, have you ever actually needed help? Have you ever been in the situation to need to ask for assistance? Have you ever been sick, Unemployed, or disabled? I’m going to assume no. It takes a lot to ask for help (for most people). Many are too embarrassed, and when a Hamper or toys are delivered to their house they don’t know what to say, aside from “thank you”. Many people can’t make ends meet as it is, let alone providing a Christmas Dinner for their family. Good on you to the family who purchased a dinner for $20, glad you were able to do that for yourself. Don’t dis others who can’t do that.
In my case, I’ve needed help. Im on AISH and have a disabled child. I get AISH and work a couple days a week (when I’m able). My rent and basic utilities, transportation and basic staple food take up 100% of my income. Yes I have a phone. My mom pays for it cause I MUST have a phone for my daughter’s sake and appointments.
So before you bash people for asking for help, unless you’ve walked a mile in their shoes, don’t. If you’ve never been in a situation of needing help, consider yourself greatful!

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36 Responses

  1. Asking for help is the hardest thing for me and when I do I need it the judgement o see on here makes me reluctant to ever ask.

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  2. Ashley Cragg Ashley Cragg says:

    Ya ok and I agree. We donate a hamper every year. Everyone needs a hand sometimes but 1. Why aren’t they utilizing the proper organizations? Sign up for the hampers and gift programs before the deadline. And 2. What about the people who are asking for help on Facebook every single year? I could see missing the hamper deadline once if you didn’t know but then every year after?

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    • Holidays are the most volitile times of year for abuse. Often times people can not prepare for the unexpected that happens. Two years ago my daughter, two grandchildren and myself slept on a bare mattress with a broken tree and had a pizza as I was fleeing abuse, which left my entire family unsafe and having to move. I didn’t ask for help, but some people can swallow their embarrassment to ask which takes courage.

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    • Ashley Cragg Ashley Cragg says:

      Marlo Cottrell and that’s great. But if you do it every single year there’s a problem.

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    • But many people can’t get out of the cycle of poverty…one step forward, three steps back…if you can barely scrape by, but can’t afford to save because there is physically no money left to save, what happens if there is an emergency?

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    • Ashley Cragg there are single moms with disabled children working hard and barely getting by. There are aids and services but they only go so far. So some do need help every year.

      I agree with the op… you just don’t know

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    • The vast majority of Canadians are one pay cheque away from being on the street.

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    • Trish Down Trish Down says:

      Because they are likely ashamed for needing anything from outside of their own abilities to provide. I’m one of those…I always tell myself I need to do it, but then convince myself that I’m not quite as much in need as others…so I don’t. It doesn’t help that shaming seems to be the new social activity…difficult to come forward and ask for help when you know SOMEONE is going to attack you for it. Sigh, I wish goodness was as popular as hatred.

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    • Trish Down Trish Down says:

      Jensen Maitland exactly…our economy doesn’t support class movement…if you are impoverished, the system is set up to keep you there. Opportunity, luck, and risk might get you out…but all three must be present and you must be aware of every step necessary to get out. Most cannot get past the worries of how they’re going to pay next week’s expenses, let alone planning a future.

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    • Ashley Cragg Ashley Cragg says:

      Like I said if they need help year after year that’s fine but sign with the proper programs. I see the same people every year on buy sells asking for help. If you know that every year you need help then sign up with the agencies before the deadlines.

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    • Trish Down exactly. I apologize on behalf of everyone who has NEVER been in your shoes and has no idea what they are saying. I truly pray they never have to experience it because they wouldn’t know where to start. Merry Christmas and may God bless you.

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    • Sue Kidd Sue Kidd says:

      Jensen Maitland, you phone your worker and hope to heck they help you.

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    • Kelly Smith Kelly Smith says:

      if ur on aish they send you a burea application n all in beg of nov so from beg of nov till dec 13 they take applications .

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    • Kelly Smith actually no they don’t…they didn’t mail out applications to anyone this year (aish or income support)

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    • Trish Down No the ‘system’ does not keep you there~ ‘you’ keep yourself there.

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  3. This is true. For some frankly I’m just sick ofam the complainers.
    “I didn’t get enough”
    “Stop whining. And make more money”
    “Don’t ask for help”
    “Help me I work and on assistance and I’m poor”

    And frankly. Fuck it all. Where the hell did the Christmas spirit go

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  4. Tara Adams Tara Adams says:

    If you are able to help. .do so..if you need help..be brave and ask for it..But stop the judgement. If you have all you need, build a bigger table ..seriously if you have nothing kind or productive to add..just be quiet and keep scrolling..
    To those that donated to Santa’s anonymous. .and the Christmas Bureau. .Thank you!..just in case you didn’t hear the words..
    May the Christmas spirit find and bless you all.

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  5. Debbie Ward Debbie Ward says:

    Just be kind to everyone and anybody!!!!

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  6. Kate Ward Kate Ward says:

    Exactly, what if said family saved that $20 every pay cheque only to have an emergency in November which wiped out the savings? There are always those who abuse a system, there are those who genuinely need help every year, there are those that need help once. Helpful hints are great, but judgement achieves nothing but bitterness.

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    • Maja Black Maja Black says:

      Thank you for this. My grandson recently ended up in hospital for Lyme disease. He has has 3 operations, and now has a permanent iv from his elbow to his neck, then down to his heart. They have missed work, hospital is 90 minute drive, all the emergency expenses add up. His medicine now that he is home is $89.00 a week, but nurses have to come twice daily to administer. They live in a small town in Nova Scotia. They did not ask for help, but the school approached my daughter with a $50 gas card and a hamper….I’m sure there are people in town that complained that someone who works got it, instead of someone unemployed…these expenses were not foreseeable…freaking food for a parent in a hospital is expensive!

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    • Fran Fawcett Fran Fawcett says:

      Judgement on both sides is wrong. Judge not lest you be judged.

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  7. Sandra Wells Sandra Wells says:

    Merry Christmas to you! I wish you all the best in the New Year! God Bless!

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  8. Doris Heck Doris Heck says:

    I’ve been very saddened to see the lack of Christmas spirit in people. Christmas is not supposed to be about the amount of presents under your tree It is supposed to be about giving to others. About giving love and caring for others who are less fortunate. I suggest that people would look into their hearts and remember the spirit of Christmas.

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  9. Ruth Beter Ruth Beter says:

    Have you ever tried nailing jello to a tree? Same scenario dealing with this post

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  10. Have I been there? Darn straight! Left with $10 buck before the next payday in 2 weeks. I never asked for help. I had a plan B, C and even a D.

    Theres people that do need the help. But there is also many that abuse that help.

    I had alot of tough times. But when some do this year after year, those giving, have the absolute right to question abuses in the system.

    Theres thosre who might need the help year after year. Then theres those who simply monopolize year after year on the generosity of others. Thats who posters question.

    I do give year after year, but anonymously. I can only ‘hope’ my donations go to people that are truly in need. Thats the best I can do.

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  11. Don’t assume people don’t understand , I been homeless two times battle bipolar. I’m still rising . Merry xmas

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  12. Hazel White Hazel White says:

    I hope you have wonderful Christmas ❤️

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  13. Christmas is not a necessity

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  14. Maja Black Maja Black says:

    Thank you for this. My grandson recently ended up in hospital for Lyme disease. He has has 3 operations, and now has a permanent iv from his elbow to his neck, then down to his heart. They have missed work, hospital is 90 minute drive, all the emergency expenses add up. His medicine now that he is home is $89.00 a week, but nurses have to come twice daily to administer. They live in a small town in Nova Scotia. They did not ask for help, but the school approached my daughter with a $50 gas card and a hamper….I’m sure there are people in town that complained that someone who works got it, instead of someone unemployed…these expenses were not foreseeable…freaking food for a parent in a hospital is expensive!

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  15. Kelly Smith Kelly Smith says:

    there are other ways to do xmas
    crafts
    baking
    movies
    snowman
    walk around look at lights
    make memory’s xmas is about presence not presents.
    no turkey no big deal cook a meal with the kids of fav foods instead

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  16. what I dont understand is why people have to know or care what other peoples situations are or how they respond to getting gifts. If I give gifts to someone who claims to be in need, I dont care what their circumstances are or if they spend foolishly or not. The point is they need help and I love to help people. If I do a good thing for someone and I find out they really didnt need the help and were being greedy, thats not my problem. The point is I did a good thing and I feel good about helping others.People who obsess about whether a person really needs the help or not or whether the person says thank you or not is just doing an act of kindness for show. How I see it, if i donate something and I get taken advantage of, I still did good in God’s eyes and he will deal with the person. Meanwhile i move on with my life and still help others. Im very dissappointed in people judging others and saying how they really didnt need the help. Have you ever considered that some people making a good income have 2000 a month going to a nursing home for a disabled family member? I know someone like that. Ive had people judge me that my kids have more clothes then they have ever seen and wonder how I can afford all that? Little do they know those were gifts from people. My point is, lets not judge eachother. Lets help for the sake of helping people

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  17. This is true. And for those of you who think it could never happen to you it can and faster than you think. Share your good fortune and be happy you can.

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