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Heartbreak

I confess I love a man who is so wrapped up in himself in and out all of the time. That I feel like I don’t even exist. Unless he needs something of course.

The last 4 years of my life have been hell that literally every time I feel as though shits going good I’m confronted with all the lies. Drugs and other women. Shit you shouldn’t be doing when you made a commitment to someone. Like if you don’t want me drop me. Cause I’m tired of trying to please an addict who only cares about himself and the next person who can offer him more than me.

I’m tired of pretending to be happy and sain. I’m a mess within myself,within my head and I have no one. Because he took it all away. I allowed it and I allowed my anger to rise above my values and beliefs. When is enough,enough. Where do you go. Who do you talk to. How do I follow my brain without my heart shattering into a million prices that I have to pick up. Trust me on this I hold my own very well I dont let a man define me. But this man was my everything and I’m just a ghost to him. Someone that they can drop in a matter of seconds.

I confess that I want you but I don’t need you 😭

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27 Responses

  1. Bye Bye asshole.. unfortunately women think they need a man.. you don’t.. cut your losses and ditch the guy.

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  2. Rhon Magyar Rhon Magyar says:

    leave him. the longer you stay – the more you enable him and the bigger victim you become. the prospect is always scary but the outcome will be life changing for you away from all his shit and drama. let him be someone elses problem. where do you see yourself 5 years from now? babysitting old snookums? or having your own life and home and a future for yourself?

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  3. Don’t wait for him to drop you. You are his fall back. Drop him! Gain your life back, your confidence and self esteem. Spent some time alone to find your worth. Free yourself from such a burden.

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  4. Funny thing is, when you leave, you will be soooo ok! You will wonder what took you so long. You will leave. Because you know you deserve better. It’s ok to still love someone, but it’s obvious you are not IN love. It’s not easy but when you are away you will be surprised at how good you feel. You are missing the odd good times you have had. Think about all the shitty times that outweigh the good. Or you may be “missing” what you wanted and not what you ever had with him.

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    • and think of all the friends and people you actually have in your life but took a step back because you didn’t want their help. as much as you feel alone you are not. once you leave it will all fall into place for you

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  5. Felicia Rene Felicia Rene says:

    You are allowing his decisions to affect you. Stop giving him power over you. You recognize he’s an addict, selfish and doesn’t value you. You sound like a smart girl so perhaps it’s time to cut the cord and start taking care of yourself. There are men out there that don’t have addictions, treat women with respect and live healthy lifestyles.

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  6. Dont settle for less than you deserve, especially when you know it.

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  7. Instead of having the mentality of “if you don’t want me drop me” drop him. Lies, drugs and other women are major red flags and you shouldn’t have to tolerate that. You’ve had four years of hell and he’s not going to change. It’s time to stop pretending to be happy and sane and you shouldn’t have to be alone because he took it all away.
    You are worth so much more than this. You should be truly happy and sane instead of faking it. Your heart will shatter no matter what but it will heal and you will be able to live a life that you want. Oh and it’s really amazing what you discover about yourself when you’re alone.

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  8. Look up trauma bonding, narcissistic personality disorder, intermittent reinforcement and find an online group to help you break free. <3

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  9. When someone else is in charge of your feelings you will never ever win. Take charge and move forward. Once you realize you control your destiny you’ll be a better and stronger person because of it. It is really empowering. Trust me !

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  10. Tanita Faye Tanita Faye says:

    Let this guy go, like yesterday!

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  11. Re-establish your past relationships one at a time. Take one first step. You might be amazed at how much people missed you! And get that using asshat out of your life! Clean cut. Move and get yourself a fresh start. It’ll be hard, but so worth YOU coming back to you. Merry Christmas, OP! Please update us next year.

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  12. The only thing you are really afraid of is the hurt and lonesome you feel after a break up. But you have to do it and you can do it. Then Don’t ever give any man the power to hurt you. You can do it !

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  13. I wonder if we know the same person.

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  14. Thats the problem with being involved with someone with an addiction. Their problem becomes your problem. Its emotionally and physically taxing. They want their next fix and will do anything to get it. Their addiction becomes the focus of their lives. If you stay, you potentially become an enabler to their addiction. You can not help these people unless they truly want to help themselves.

    This is not your fault. Don’t be ashamed or feel guilty. This is not in your control.

    Do not sacrifice your emotional and physical well being, because a loved one has an addiction.

    Leave for your own sake.

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  15. Brock Hart Brock Hart says:

    You found your self a real winner, must be tough to find something better.

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  16. He had to of met a Ashleigh Jenkins

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  17. Aja Novic Aja Novic says:

    When is enough, enough? Today! Don’t allow yourself to be dropped girl….drop his ass tonight with a smile and a kick in the ass. Then mark the calendar as today being the beginning to a new you

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  18. sounds like fun being with a cheater and a drug addict for 4 years
    not 4 weeks.
    not 4 months.
    for four years.

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  19. You don’t need him and you clearly don’t want him. Make the break, don’t wait for him to do it, he never will. He knows you will always be there for him…so it’s time to stop. You will be so better off.

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  20. We teach people how to treat us. Somewhere down along the line, you made it acceptable for him to behave like that and get away with it. Once you’ve bent your morality or feelings for someone else’s misbehaviour, it’s only a matter of time until morality and feelings break. They don’t change hunny, I’ve survived 3 narcissists, I tried everything imaginable for each of them to have the ability and inspiration to change, they literally never will. Don’t learn things the hard way when you can avoid it and keep your dignity in tact while walking away.

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  21. TJ Clarke TJ Clarke says:

    Is this pat…it’s pat init… Gabrielle Nehiyaw Mm lol

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  22. Sandy says:

    I think that perhaps you should consider that you have been in love before right? and low and behold it happened again with this individual. That means it can happen again – what he brings to the table is deceit, addiction (that he clearly doesn’t want help with), infidelity, etc. Did the last love bring all that too? if so perhaps you need to be with someone who is unreliable, and will hurt you. To be with someone decent would feel abnormal and you would be afraid and push him away. Guess what you are worth it – worth good things, good friendships, and good relationships – once you see that you are truly worth more – you can say to him step up or get out. Because if you envision this relationship 10 yrs from now and it hasn’t changed how would you feel?

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