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How to handle a lie

I am extremely mad and hurt by my husband’s actions. I would be curious as to how others would feel. I am wondering if I am over reacting or if he is totally wrong.
And what that means to our marriage now.

My husband and I always agreed on finances. This was something I never had to think of. We are low income and we made sure to focus on budgets, covering bills etc.

Many years ago I bought him a camera. This was when we had better employment. It was one of the top cameras. (He needs one to do video recordings – for work).
Well that one died a while ago and he has been struggling to use it despite it shutting off and distorting images. We discussed that he needs a new camera. We agreed that we would look at different types, prices, maybe see if we can get a line of credit.

Yesterday a package is delivered and he bought a camera. I don’t even know it, I refused to really look at it for now. From a glance, the price is reasonable, the financing is not bad although I think we could’ve found a bit better.

But what I am mad at is that he went behind my back. I had a horrendous flu and he says he didn’t want to add more – I was already having a hard time with work, kids activities, and such being sick. So he picked up a camera, he went and filled out a loan application. In both of our names, while forging my signature. Since he couldn’t get a loan on his own, now I am stuck with a payment plan I never agreed to. I know he needs a camera for work. And he keeps saying I agreed to a certain budget (which is true) but I feel truly shocked at how he did it. He hid this from me.

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

It is our money and I feel he had no right to do it this way. This has never been how a marriage works.
Now he says he thought it is for his work and his decision what to get – then that doesn’t go with us looking at ideas and payment options earlier in Feb. And the way my name was added.

So now I am stuck with decisions to make. Do I make him send it back? We have a week to cancel since it is brand new never opened. But I know he needs one for work. Likelyhood is we’ll end up buying this one or something similar anyhow so the extra work seems dumb.
But not sending it back is a reminder for me how he went behind my back and broke my trust.

I feel that with a marriage, finances and other big topics like raising kids are big. That is something that you must be on the same page or marriage fails. I don’t know if I can forgive this or get past ot and he somehow seems to think an apology, admitting he screwed up should be enough.

The kids are away visiting grandparents so I have 3 days on my own. I have a friend who is out of town for vacation and I am staying on her couch for these 3 days while I think of what to do.
I can keep talking about this with him but I think now we are just repeating and going in cicles. Do I end my marriage over this? I saw a therapist who says he made a mistake, let it go and learn from it. I just feel betrayed to let it go.

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224 Responses

  1. Kevin Blais Kevin Blais says:

    You sound rather controlling

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  2. Sue Topps Sue Topps says:

    I agree, this should have been discussed…but forgive him…tell him you understand his desperation but to promise he would never do something like that. Do NOT ruin your marriage over it and more importantly, don’t hold this over him and keep bringing the subject back. Forgive him and put this mistake behind you both and also seek God’s forgiveness.

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  3. your staying at your friends for 3 days , get over yourself woman, the camera is for work , wow your so rude, maybe he should leave you for 3 days

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  4. You sound like a bitch straight up

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  5. If it’s for work ( which makes money ) is a good thing . Maybe he should of discussed it but in a guys way he was being considerate because you weren’t feeling well . I would let it go . He needs it for his work don’t return it !!!

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  6. It was wrong for him to forge your signiture & get the loan that way. He should be able to get a camera if he needs it without your permission & you should trust his ability to do this on his own in the first place. Life goes on. Im sure he will be paying the bill.

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    • Shawna M O’Reilly yep!

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    • Ummm nope. I would like a new house. Maybe I could get one without his permission.

      People take their lines of credit for granted. The only one who should be using your credit is YOU.

      The question that needs to be asked here is why does the husband not have his own credit??? There a chunk of information missing here.

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  7. Debbie Ward Debbie Ward says:

    In my opinion, what he did, was dead wrong. No way, should he have forged her signature. This is a major breach of trust in the marriage. Send it back, and get one they is mutually agreed on.

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  8. Tim Hainer Tim Hainer says:

    He needs it for work?? Figure it out! I know when your low income money problems can be stressful and non stop but if you let little shit like this bug you, your going to live a miserable life.you need to let the little things slide, money stress is a relationship killer.

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  9. I’d definitely be mad if my husband forged my signature on a loan or took out a loan in both our names without talking to me. However, it sounds like this camera is a true necessity to your families income so it’s important he has it. I’d let it go.

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    • Agreed. I would be pissed about the forged signature too… but it sounds like for the most part he’s a pretty great husband so you should probably get over it.

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    • Adrienne Bursey I would be upset too. Not so much mad but disappointed on how it was handled. Letting it go is excellent advice. She definitely has a right to be mad. I like what Dr. Phil says, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Maybe letting him know how this kind of thing affects trust will make him this better of it next time!

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    • Absolutely! If the camera didn’t affect income I’d have a harder time letting it go. When it’s a necessity to putting food on the table it is a bit different. Still a breach in trust that needs to be addressed though

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  10. Well he shouldn’t have forged your signature that’s for sure but you sound like hitler incarnate so I think he deserves the camera for having to deal with you

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  11. That is something that can be talked about and worked out. Its not like he has been cheating on you. This day and age everything is disposable including marriages. Stick it out. I really dont see how this should end your marriage. Mistakes happen.

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  12. Bill Howatt Bill Howatt says:

    End your marriage? Yes. You should divorce him and be done. What a terrible person. Get out while you can. He sounds violent..

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  13. He needed the camera, he shouldn’t have forged your signature. Talk about it, work it out and seek couple’s therapy if needed. There are tons of resources for low income.

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  14. That he is doing what he needs to to take care of his family and u r mad about this and don’t trust him now and that u want to end a marriage and destroy your kids over this is ridiculous and petty! Oh and please get a new therapist!!!! Seriously get a new therapist!!!! He sounds like a man any woman would want cause she’ll know he will put his family first so be careful or he’ll find that woman. He’s good let this go forever and count your lucky stars woman!

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  15. He committed fraud against you, I would be upset also.

    Buying something is one thing but tying up your credit for a purchase you didn’t agree to is not ok.

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  16. Lisa Wood Lisa Wood says:

    March into the place where he forged your signature, demand to cancel the contract or you will go to the police and press charges for forgery.

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  17. Liz Large Liz Large says:

    Wow. You say he doesn’t know anything about how a marriage work but yet you are a hypocrite as well. Yes he shouldn’t have forged our signature. Men do stupid things sometimes an have that stupid excuse that didn’t want to add on your stress because you were sick bullshit.. but do you really think this is grounds for a divorce?? Get over yourself woman. Work on your damn marriage an realize it was for work. It’s not like he cheated. Smh. Maybe he should divorce you for being an overly dramatic twat.

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  18. Graham Frost Graham Frost says:

    Haha jesus, I was about to say calm the fuck down, you sound like a nag. So he bought a camera big fucking deal. Then read the forged signature thing… That’s too far. That’s not only fraud, its dishonest to you. I’d take that god damn thing back. Btw. If he needs a camera for work so bad the company should be supplying one… Sounds fishy.

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  19. I’d be so p*ssed if someone – I don’t care who it is – forged my name to get a loan. I would so be at whatever store it is giving them hell too. Ugh. I’m not in your position so I can’t tell you what to do but I don’t know if I would handle it well either.

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  20. Katie Pearse Katie Pearse says:

    It’s called financial infidelity and you have every right to be upset.

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  21. Life is just wayyyyy too short to even live like this.

    Yes he forged your signature, on basis that you had the flu. It sounds like his old one was malfunctioning too much. Sometimes we need to bend a little to be fully understanding to the situation. Especially in a marriage. Technically if he did get the loan in his name. You are still yet responsible for half of the debt since you’re both married.

    If you do decide to forgive him and move on with your marriage. Truly forgive him and leave these mistakes in the past. It will only help strengthen the marriage.

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    • Charlene Hansen To me forging her signature was way to far. What’s next, a house?

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    • He had already previously spoken to her for making this purchase. Plus I agree with Kevin Blais and his comment on there are not very many financial institutions that would allow this Loan to happen without her being present to consent to the loan. I am sure at the very least they would check her ID to see if it actually matched the signatures on the documents. As far as buying a house goes. There is no way someone could do this all on their own. You need to be present in signing an hours worth of documents in front of a lawyer. As well they’re married. He’s making this purchase to earn money for a living. He’s not out there spending it on escorts and having it shown up on credit card statements. He’s trying and thats what counts.

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  22. That forged signature thing is what I keep coming back too… that’s a breach of trust as well as illegal. I get his reasoning but that’s a few steps too far.

    I think there should be consequences for his actions but ending your marriage is an over reaction in my opinion. Sending it all back to do it all over again seems like a lot of work.

    No real answer but I don’t think you are overreacting if you have both agreed to make these decisions together always

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    • Liz Kalisvaart Believe it or not, the forgery is a grey area. My dad was a compulsive gambler and forged cheques in my mom’s name. She sought a lawyer and went to the police.. Because the money came from a joint account, there was nothing they could do.

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    • NO! Seriously?? It’s financial fraud how can that not be taken more seriously??

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    • Liz Kalisvaart It has to do with whether or not he had a legal right to the money. In his case, the answer was yes.

      Even in this case, if the company that he forged the contract with still gets their money, there are no “damages”.

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    • If it’s a loan it’s not “their” collective money, and it is fraud. No grey area here at all.

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    • If it’s a loan it’s not “their” collective money, and it is fraud. No grey area here at all.

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    • Terry Havanka I agree. Forgery is against the law. And then the question comes down to what else is this person willing to lie about? It’s one thing to throw something huge on the credit card, it’s another to actively engage in breaking the law. Definitely warrants more conversation – I’d be pretty pissed, too.

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    • Liz Kalisvaart . Wonder what he will forge it on next? Sneak and cant be trusted. Done

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  23. Adam Dee Adam Dee says:

    Pick your battles. You said yourself the price wasn’t even that bad. Give your husband the benefit of which item he wants to buy. Does he need you to hold his hand on everything??

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  24. A divorce is going to cost your a lot more than that loan I promise u that haha

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  25. Sharon Swan Sharon Swan says:

    Well needing a camera for his work . He should have gotten one but to forge your signature is another thing . This part of your marriage would be needing counseling. Why would you jump in and say that should you get a divorce.. that is really strong word…. is your marriage that insecure and weak that you can not overcome this with therapy … as he should have trusted you as well in getting a payment plan … you both agreed that he needed a new camera .. but did not agree on how to obtain one .. so here is a thought … every payday … you both take 20 dollars a payday and open up a separate bank account and put the money in it every pay . So that would give you 80.00 a month . Now the hard part is doing it .. this is like a bill that needs to be paid . So this you will pay before paying anything else.. you guys need to be committed to this .. NEVER EVER spend this money unless it’s an absolute necessary like this needing a new camera… or maybe needing to fix the car .. if you have one …….and now get yourself back home and in your own bed . And my thought would be if I was your husband . If there is ever a next time you walk out and stay at a friends for something like this .. then I would tell you to make sure you take your belongings .. marriage is give and take .. we are not all perfect and there will be hiccups in the road .. there is love, understanding, forgiveness, trust, working together for common goals….but also boundaries what your partner can and cannot do with and without your concent.. and your husband forgot that one . Good luck to you in your marriage.. and go home and talk about what happened with the camera him overstepping his boundaries committing fraud then never speak of it again … dont keep throwing this up in his face as that will also tear down a marriage …. good luck and God bless

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  26. Abe Irato Abe Irato says:

    Question his ethics and get solid answers. Then question your commitment to the marriage. If this makes you ponder divorce then clearly the marriage is as solid as your finances.

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  27. You are being WAY to dramatic and quite childish over this. Sure, be upset and yell at him for ten minutes then move on with life. He didn’t take out a loan to buy blow and party with his friends he took out a loan to buy a camera for his job. Grow up and stop acting like a little brat. Simply tell him that taking a loan under your name is unacceptable, DO NOT pull that shit again and he needs to pay it off with his own money.

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  28. The divorce word is thrown around way too easy in our society.
    Yes he hurt you, yes he betrayed your trust and yes despite needing the camera for work he made a stupid decision in what he did. But divorce?? Talk about it, continue seeing a counsellor (together!!!) and work at fixing the mistrust.

    As for the camera, if it was me I would probably say I’d cancel it and return it and find a working camera that fits within the budget – again, doing this together and on the same page.

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    • Lois Sunley why? Because he went behind her back, and they can’t afford it. He made the choice on his own to take them deeper into debt and that’s unfair to her. There was also a huge betrayal that happened and I think he needs to recognize that and be held accountable for his actions.

      I’m sure there’s a perfectly decent camera that is within their budget, that they can purchase together, instead of going into debt for something that is going to be a source of contention as well as hurt.

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    • not to mention he illegally forged her signature.

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  29. I get a kick out of the people that are attacking the OP. There is a breach of trust here and in another comment someone mentioned financial infidelity. More marriages are broken due to financial problems than anything else.

    So while I think the OP is overreacting to ending the marriage over this, she is right to be absolutely upset over this. However, if she can’t have a discussion with him about it, then there are other problems.

    I wonder how many people would attack the OP if the indiscretion was an affair? How many people think it’s ok for a husband to treat his wife this way?

    I suggest you set limits to when you need spousal discussion before buying anything. In our house its $200.

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  30. If he can forge your name then when he needs a loan again will he go behind your back and create some more money issues. I would simply sit him down and say what is done is done but if he needs to include her in any loan then she needs to know. Doesn’t he see the impact this could have on their family finances if he default on the loan then she is responsible for it. Sounds like someone’s communication skills are lacking in the relationship.

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    • Exactly. This is about a marriage, trust, respect and boundaries. If all those were in place, why is he out forging on HER credit? Why does he not have credit of his own?? Its about the principle of the thing.

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  31. You have every right to be mad and the signature thing is 100% wrong. You added, at the end, that he admitted he made a mistake and that he apologized! What else can he do? Sure he messed up, big time, but HE ADMITTED IT! He needs this camera for work. I would talk with him about never signing your name again and then drop it. It would be different if he didn’t think he did anything wrong or thought it was funny.

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  32. Another 1st world Problem lol

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  33. Adina Green Adina Green says:

    I would take a look at the camera and search to see if he did get a good deal. Or if you can find a better deal somewhere else.

    Explain you are upset about signing your name.

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  34. I think you should take the advice of your Therapist but sounds like you’ll hold this over his head until you get your divorce lol If I was the husband I’d send that camera back asap and run for the hills

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  35. Purchasing the camera I wouldn’t be upset about really , he needs it to clearly bring the bread in. The forging however is crossing a line. If your spitting the D word out here and actually not staying at home clearly there is more underlying issues and this just triggered your movement. Hes your partner so talk to him about the break in trust and fraud Yes because that’s what it was and everything else that is driving you to the word divorce.

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  36. Sabrina Koza Sabrina Koza says:

    What kind of place would allow him to forge your signature or do a loan without you present. Seems shady…
    He bought a camera…for work… not the end of the world. That would be a tax write off. Or work should be supplying it.
    Doesn’t seem too big a deal to me. Pick and choose your battles. This warrants a conversation, not anger.
    Get over it and appreciate that he let you rest while you were sick. You are over-reacting.

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  37. Olia Jofre Olia Jofre says:

    Your husband is a human. We all are and we all make mistakes. This mistake of his will be a good reason for two of you to talk about what you wont tolerate in situations like this. Next time he knows. Give people chances especially your husband.

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  38. I’m curious at how much this was to need a loan. That’s insane. But if it’s needed for work it can be written off?
    It’s your relationship. Talk to him.
    If it’s just too much money I’d be returning it and then finding a cheaper option.

    I definitely wouldn’t be divorcing but that’s just me. Like someone else said “divorce is just thrown around so easily now a days.

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  39. It costs money to make money. If it is going to make you more money….you should not be bitching

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  40. Win Chan Win Chan says:

    First, yes it is not honest of him to go behind your back and do something that you clearly opposed.

    Second, it takes money to make money. No risk, no return.
    If you two are not getting the income you’d like, then you won’t get any more ahead unless you take some risk.
    Have you asked him why he did what he did? Perhaps it was because he didn’t see another solution to try to get both of you ahead – because you were clearly against taking a risk to get ahead? He may be then doing so for your family’s good. If this is the case, I’d have a good sit down discussion together.

    That being said, we are in the digital marketing and photography business – so if he is interested in possibly working with us in the near future or want some guidance, we’d be more than happy to speak.

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  41. Joan Warren Joan Warren says:

    Omg you sound ridiculous your staying on friends couch over a camera. Sounds like you want out this was your escape. I say you have a huge communication problem. Besides you said he needs for work. Maybe be upset tell him and move forward. He is trying to provide for his family. Remember the grass is greener where you water it.

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  42. Shit I tell my wife to sign my dam name all the time.
    He needs it for work to make money. He was thinking of you when you where sick. You yourself said it was a decent price.
    Get over it, sounds like you have a pretty good guy.

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  43. I’d be mad about the loan and going behind my back to sign for me forsure. But it sounds as if it was talked about all around before he just up and bought it. The only thing you weren’t a part of was the picking out of the camera from what I’m understanding. I’d let it go!! Sounds like a waste of a good 3 days to me dwelling on it. If this is something that could end your marriage then maybe its for the best!

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  44. Lyn Hessels Lyn Hessels says:

    If he needs it for work it should be tax deductible? I know that’s not your point but just sayin’.

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  45. I am blown away by your reaction to this…everyone makes mistakes and this is super minor in the relationship department. Is there more underlying issues that you have been turning a blind eye to? Yes this was disappointing but really minor on the scheme of things.

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  46. Tina Jarvis Tina Jarvis says:

    I would send it back after all he forged your name without your permission and that is a criminal offence and it could do a lot of damage to your name. Write a letter explaining that you were not with him a the time the LOC was being filled out. It is also obvious that the persons who was giving him the credit did not do there job properly either because they are supposed to ask for your Id to verify that is you and your own personal signature on that loan. Your husband on the other hand just committed fraud.

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  47. End your marriage over this? Don’t be an idiot. Yes I’d probably be mad about the signing my name part. However it’s for his work so get over it.

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  48. Randi Doucet Randi Doucet says:

    The only issue is the forging of the signature. Everything else is a moot point, sounds like you guys discussed a new camera to death and he stayed within budget etc etc. He just didn’t get your final approval, which I’m sorry but your husband is still a big boy and can make decisions on his own. It’s not like he went out and bought a brand new truck or something extravagant that will screw you guys for years. Let it go, and if you can’t/still considering divorce then obviously you’re looking for an excuse to get out because this isn’t divorce material on its own.

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  49. He forged her name on the loan.. that’s not ok

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  50. Christine Foster yeah just leave him.

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  51. Marriage is work. Plain and simple. It’s a lot of back and forth. Forgiveness and being the one who needs forgiving. We are human. We make mistakes. I understand the anger about the forged signature. I also understand his perspective. It sounds like your marriage may already be tense. A lot of issues arise with lack of communication and trust. Sit down and make a list of pros and cons of this camera. Are you mad that you weren’t included with the selection and financing bit? If so, maybe understand that he would know better what kind of camera he needs specifically if it’s for work. No, he probably shouldn’t have forged your signature, however, I don’t think it’s worth tossing a marriage out for. It sounds like it’s a crossed boundary and he didn’t realize it then but did after the fact. At least he accepted accountability and is remorseful and apologized. So my suggestion moving forward is to set clear boundaries. (As in stating this is to never happen again or there will be repercussions – legal or otherwise.) Think of your marriage much like raising kids. There is no manual. You fly by the seat of your pants. Your spouse is bound to mess up, as are you. Forgiveness and learning how to move forward are key… You wouldn’t toss your children to child services if they stole something from a store. They’d be punished, spoken to and taught why it’s wrong. Don’t toss your marriage over that. If there’s other issues, try working through them, but be honest and transparent both with him and yourself.

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  52. Alan Diehl Alan Diehl says:

    Divorce please. You’re too petty to have a hubby.

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  53. Karen Thomas Karen Thomas says:

    Are these posts for real?
    Is the post for real?

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  54. It would be awesome to see you make him send it back just out of principle … only to re-order it because you later realized he got the best deal!

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  55. Divorce the bum. He went and bought something he needed for work. Probably under $1000 without asking you? I bet the judge might even throw him in jail for you. Make your kids grow up in a broken home. That’ll learn him.

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  56. I agree with the therapist, but I would let him know exactly how you feel and if it ever happens again there will be consequences and then follow through with whatever they are! No need to ruin an otherwise good marriage over this.

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  57. Grab a brain and grow up. Aside from forging your signature you have nothing to complain about. Get a life.

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  58. Mj Mank Mj Mank says:

    I would not end the marriage. Has he committed adultery?is he an alcoholic? Has he gambled your money away?he said he was sorry and given your reaction he has realized what he did was wrong he perhaps should be given a chance to make better. I get that he betrayed/deceived you has created a trust issue, but sometimes a stitch in time can save nine. See a counsellor about the forging of your name the difficulty in paying another amount of $$ you never planned for. Remember that forgiveness is not s line that you cross it is a road that you take. Good luck.

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  59. Wow, sounds like you are the perfect wife and your husband does not deserve you, nor the kids their father if you leave him over this. UGH Put on your big girl panties and let it go.

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  60. Marraige is about forgiveness and patience-alot of it! A successful Marriage takes work, and this situation is an example of that work. You are allowed your emotions and feelings you just arent allowed to react in a way that will effect your whole family including your children before the “Work” is done.

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  61. I thought this was something to move past until I saw that he forged your signature without talking about it. That’s a hard no. Hard, hard no.

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  62. Dana McVey Dana McVey says:

    If he needs the camera for work why are they not covering the cost? Plus if they do not cover the cost you can always claim it on your income tax. Don’t throw away a good marriage over a camera. Yes he went behind your back and forged a document which should never have happened. I would sit down and discuss this problem before the kids come home and life gets in the way again.

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  63. This is a big issue, he shouldn’t have done it and you have a right to be mad. However, if you are considering divorce over this I think you two should go to counseling. He had good reasons including supporting the family and you were going to do it anyway he just got impatient. If this is all it takes for you to consider divorce then I’m concerned that either you don’t really love each other or there are other issues going on. Marriage is a commitment for life and therefore both partners will make mistakes over time, your role as the spouse is to work through it with them for better or worse.

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  64. I don’t think this is a hill to die on. Forging your signature was wrong and needs to be discussed and dealt with. That said, he needs the camera for work and his intentions were good.

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  65. Nick Finnie Nick Finnie says:

    Ending a marriage over the purchase of a camera so he can continue to do his job? ridiculous.

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  66. Sly says:

    What a bunch of bullshit

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  67. Joy Brown Joy Brown says:

    He did it the wrong way and you for sure need to talk about it with him clearly making him understand this part.
    But this is a totally forgivable offence.

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  68. Ya you are overreacting. He needed it. Not like he bought a yacht. You sound controlling.

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  69. It’s a fucking camera big deal fucking cry baby

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  70. You are justified in being angry. But how can he trust you to stay in your marriage every time he makes a mistake? Why did he feel the need to go this route to begin with? Obviously you both have trust issues. This doesn’t mean you both can’t work this out. Be honest with yourself and remember every time you’ve done something that he wasn’t aware of…no matter how small.

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  71. He FORGED her name… without her knowing.

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  72. Ri Anna Ri Anna says:

    well he deserves someone that he wouldn’t have to FORGE a signature for. Sick or not she would have tried to control the situation anyways.

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  73. How he forge her name ordering online?? You don’t sign nothing.

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  74. Cindy Kupser Cindy Kupser says:

    I don’t care the circumstances him forging and taking credit on your name is too much. I’d be pissed over that too and would have a seriously hard time trusting him. What’s worse is he didn’t even tell you. You had to find out once it was delivered. Total breach of trust in my opinion.

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  75. it sounds more like the forgery…

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  76. I can understand being upset, sure. But ending your marriage? Marriage is messy, people make mistakes and learn lessons. Marriages succeed because partners are understanding and offer forgiveness and support to each other. It sound like the camera had been an issue for a while for him and he made a decision to be able to do his job properly, yes he made a mistake but you need to ask yourself why he did it and who he was doing it for. Seems it was for the family you have together. If you can’t let this go then your marriage has much bigger concerns than what he did. People seem to want their spouses to be perfect, they are people and they screw up. I feel bad for your husband in this situation, the person who promised to love him for better or worse is sleeping on a friends couch away from home because he was trying to find away to his job properly. You have three days with no kids, what a waste! You could be connecting and loving each other.

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  77. You also asked many others in another group . And most said the same thing most of the people here are saying . Be mad and upset , you have a right to be . But I also think you need to move on , you’ve had the conversation he is willing to do what it takes to fix it .

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  78. I think ending your marriage over this is pretty silly. Was he wrong in the way he went about this, yes, but he needs to know that. I think staying on a friends couch for 3 days is pretty extreme. He bought a camera he needed for work, so he can support the family. Should he have just be up front about it, yes he should have. Is it going to take a while for you to trust him again, yes it is. He should know all that and how hurt you are then move on.

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  79. Heather, exactly this!! And they had already talked about everything. Sounds more like he was trying to be thoughtful while she had the flu and he just wants to be able to support his family.

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  80. Kara Keena Kara Keena says:

    Fuck, take it from him and don’t let him use it or find it until you give it to him after you talk with him and tell him that isn’t acceptable at all and he will be paying in full before you give it to him.

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  81. Remember when spouses spoke to each other when they have an issue?

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  82. i think you’re overreacting. I would however be annoyed he forged my signature without my permission. but I mean it’s just a camera and he needed it I guess. it must be one fancy camera if you need a loan to pay for it though. I would look around and make sure you’re getting the best deal. but yeah sleeping on someone’s couch and talking about ending your marriage ort this seems way dramatic and over reacting to me. Are you sure there’s not more to the story or something more making you unhappy? Kinda sounds like you’re looking for a way out. If that’s the worst thing he’s done I think y’all are doing pretty good haha

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  83. A divorce over a camera. I didn’t think people could get more rediculous. People screw up all the time. This does not mean rip your family apart over a camera. Though if your marriage is weak enough for that to end it, maybe there are things not being said from before. Either way if a camera is enough to end things walk away and let the man find someone who can forgive. Yes forging a signature is a criminal offence, you make him return it questions could be asked and that could be found out. Leading to charges and jail even if you don’t press the charges.

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  84. Shawna Jones Shawna Jones says:

    Keep the camera since you know hubby needs it for wk. Sounds like there is more anger and resentment than what’s applied to the camera incident though.

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  85. First of all, i didn’t read it all, but i think i get the just of it.
    If it’s for work, it’s a business expense. Claim it on taxes.
    He did follow your budget plans.
    The only upsetting matters here are the signature forgery and your considering divorce over it. He was trying to be considerate of your wellbeing. Inform him you’d rather he not forg your signature in future and move on. Jumping to a divorce over one disagreement makes me think you’re just looking for a way out/ there’s more to this story.

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  86. People make mistakes and miss judgment happens. If this is a deal breaker for your marriage than you never should have got married in the first place. Fix the problem. He apologized and it was a need not a want. So if something like this is a deal breaker than your not going to last anyways. And if you did it he’d be expected to forgive you. Humans make mistakes. We learn we adjust and we forgive. So yea. If something like that is a deal breaker for you then don’t expect to get in at new relationship either cuz you don’t know anything about actual love.

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  87. There is indeed a problem with this world…your husband should divorce you and spend the rest of his life being happy. This is also only your side of the story, so I’d like to hear his.

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  88. Wow. I feel like your marriage does not mean that much to you if this is enough to send you over the edge. Should he have talked to you about it? Probably…but knowing there is always more than one side to the story, maybe he did. Maybe he has been wanting it for a long time and you have said no no no. Maybe he decided to be the head of the household for once and just get what he needs. You said repeatedly that he needs it for work. So isn’t that the end of it? I feel like you have gone from 0 to 100 here over something so silly that I really feel there is other stuff you have feelings about and you were looking for a reason. No he shouldn’t send it back. Give your head a shake and try and remember what’s really important. And what’s really going on here.

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  89. end your marriage because he got a loan for a bloody camera? at least he wasn’t sticking his dick in some other bitch….be happy it was a camera and not a hoe! suck it up princess, it’s for his work to make money for his family ffs

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  90. Nick Plashka Nick Plashka says:

    Listen lady, I say divorce the guy… Do him a favor and set him free but while your doing that try to remember that your kids didn’t do anything wrong. And while your paying your lawyer fees and going through the what’s bound to be long and drawn out legal battle remember that this ultimately was about a camera, one that I might add you were both on board about and not done drug fueled weekend with hookers and such. Our you could grow the hell up and move on with your life and learn to forgive. Sure I’ll admit the forgery was out of line but if it was done in the name of saving time while you were sick, it’s kinda not that huge of a violation…. So yeah divorce that guy he’s a piece of trash who deserves better

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  91. Courtney Genge Kait Green

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  92. Lois Sunley Lois Sunley says:

    Leaving over this you do not break a family for this he needs it for work. The end. Yes he did wrong using your name but his motive is a benefit to the family unit let the control go think with your heart not your ego think of life without him honestly and the impact on your children. He could be doing really damaging things to your relationship forgive and move on he will not do this again we all make mistakes love is worth more than your hurt over not having control in everything. Being single is not a cakewalk

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  93. Wow I am glad I ain’t married to you he bought a camera for work at a reasonable price he didn’t have an affair or gamble all the money away

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  94. Jaime Sharon Jaime Sharon says:

    You had a friend post for you on another group. Get over it.

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  95. Ri Anna good point, Couldn’t he just have done it in his own name? Makes
    Me wonder if he s fked up a lot with money and didn’t qualify on his own. In that case maybe this is why she is hands on

    Lots of questions

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  96. Sounds like your husband was hoping to ask for forgiveness rather than permission. People on this feed seem to think forgery and fraud are a-ok cuz well… he needs it? It was a dick move on your husband’s part and good for you for taking some time away while it doesn’t affect your children. Is it divorce worthy? That’s a couples therapy worthy discussion.

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  97. maybe dr phil can help

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  98. Does it make sense to return the camera? logically, if the issue is about finances and he made a choice that supports growing your income, you’ll be worse off without it and will have another issue to fight over. It’s like buying a necessary tool for work…sometimes an investment needs to be made to grow income.

    So…is this even about the camera? You’ve had a very strong reaction. Where are these feelings of distrust coming from? Is the camera an excuse to end it or is there a deeper hurt under there that you two need to figure out? Be honest with yourself. You owe your partner that.

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  99. He needs to pick up another little job and pay for it..his problem..he needs to take responsibility..when money is tight.

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  100. Overreact much?
    He didn’t buy a Ferrari…it’s a camera. Settle down

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  101. Ffs, you want to end a Marriage over a Camera! Grow up lady!!

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  102. Tamara Roche Tamara Roche says:

    I have purchased many cameras and lenses over the years . Sometimes I discuss with my husband and sometimes I don’t . But they are paid for in cash or on my credit card . If you don’t have any
    Sort of available credit and had to through in store or third party for credit then he REALLY should have discussed it with you . Those interest rates are high and you have to make fixed monthly payments ! He was probably just trying not to stress you out though.

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  103. “I saw a therapist who says he made a mistake, let it go and learn from it. I just feel betrayed to let it go” I can understand the feeling of betrayal. In the grand scheme of things it is, however, a relatively minor one. You will do yourself a world of good by letting it go (after a good talk with your husband about his actions and your feelings). I would however phone the financing company and find out how they were able to provide financing in your name without you actually filling out any consent forms.

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  104. How much did it cost?? A million bucks??? I venture a guess maybe $1000, not going to kill either of you. I think there are other problems in your marriage if you think this is something to move out over or to contemplate divorce

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  105. Life is about change and growth. Relationships are about trust not just control. There is no reason to react in divorce unless you are looking for a way out.
    If him signing your name bothers you that much tell him and own it.
    This is not a car or a house – and if you were sick and he really needs it right away then good on him for letting you rest. This however is not a lie – and relationships are give and take.
    You sound like you always want final say on everything. Anger issues.

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  106. Neda Motlagh Neda Motlagh says:

    You want your kids to become fatherless over a camera? Not to mention line the pockets of some lawyers?

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  107. Dianne Slade Dianne Slade says:

    He needs it for work. You can only discuss for so long.

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  108. Holly shit I’d be long gone lol I spent 15 k on tools and never told my wife she saw a pic in photos and asked if that was mine I laughed we are still married 13 years you need therapy girl

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  109. I hate to have to point this out. He forged her signature on a loan agreement. That’s not a light thing. That is a crime. that is Identity theft. Divorce, perhaps not. But first things, try and return it, try and cancel the loan. If that can be done easily then it’s time to work on the real issue at hand. Why would anyone ever think that’s ok? Forging someones on anything is. a. crime. What if she never found out about it? Now she has debt because of him.

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  110. All of this may have been preventable if the educational system actually implemented “financial management studies” in high school. Maybe their finances wouldnt be so tight. Currently 50% of the population lives paycheck to paycheck and yet the schools continue to neglect this subject.

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  111. Talia Armani Talia Armani says:

    End the marriage??? Good god. Grow up.

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  112. Kevin King Kevin King says:

    Send it back, and when you can’t pay the bills because he can’t work, you guys can figure that set of problems out.

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  113. Jeri Noyes Jeri Noyes says:

    OMG you have 3 days of kid free time, and you are sleeping on a friends couch …. Life is for living and enjoying, if you are demanding perfection, go for it, leave your husband, then at least one of you two, will be free to enjoy life …

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  114. You are overreacting and perhaps you should be his wife instead of his mother

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  115. Cara Burns Cara Burns says:

    You’re hurt and that’s understandable but holding onto the anger won’t help you move forward in your relationship so like the therapist said let it go. To me it sounds like you are wanting to punish him for making this decision without you but that won’t solve anything. Tell him your feelings and give him a chance to remedy the situation. Forgive him and make a plan for the next time something like this needs to be bought etc. Communication is always key. You need to learn to compromise with him. You’re not always going to get what you want and meeting your partner halfway is what it’s all about. It was wrong of him to forge your signature but everyone makes mistakes and I certainly don’t think this is something to leave him over. Give him a chance to change before you decide anything.

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  116. You said he couldn’t get a loan of his own. Your credit or ability to get credit is not HIS. It is not martial property. Access to YOUR credit is not ‘OUR’ money. If something goes wrong, YOU are left with the payments, not him. Those are the ramifications.

    Every marriage has boundaries. Those boundaries are about RESPECT, Truth and Honesty.

    He has moved those boundaries by forging your name behind your back. If you say nothing and do nothing, he will think you’re okay with the respect, inconsideration and lies. If you let this ride, what will he do next? Come home with a car under your name? A trip for himself?

    Its a matter of principle within a marriage here.

    When I got married I had not credit, because I paid everything in cash. It took years to build up my own credit, seperate from my husbands. I went car shopping and was approved within 20 minutes. Thats how GOOD my credit is and I’m proud of it.
    If something ever happened to him, what would I do without credit of my OWN.

    I dont mess with my Husbands credit and he does not mess with mine. Its called respect and trust.

    I can’t tell you what to do. If it was me. The first thing I would say is ‘ How could you do this, on my credit?”.

    Tell him to work on getting his own FKN credit. He has a job. Let him take out a loan for his own camera under his own name. A loan fir a camera is a perfect place to start on building his own credit rating.

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  117. Hell! Leave the some of a badtching fargin icehole!!!

    Or….cool off and have a strongly worded talk with him about his purchase.
    If applicable, show where the item takes away from the family, etc.

    Edit: he is 1000000% wrong to forge your signature, send it the fk back!!

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  118. Nata Corte Nata Corte says:

    Where’s Dr. Phil?

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  119. Divorce? You’re joking right? Are you aware of how much a divorce costs? You think you’re low income now.

    I get that there are things he should not have done in this situation but for crying out loud, ending your marriage over this is beyond moronic.

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  120. Get over it it’s for work not like he cheated on u

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  121. Its a camera not a car or a house. Get over it. If he needs it for work then what are you bitching about. Sorry but you are blowing this way out of proportion. I would really pick your battles wisely this is not one to get bent out of shape for.

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  122. Chris Gagne Chris Gagne says:

    The only point of this post that is glaring at me is that he forged her signature. That said it sounds like a situation where he did something wrong (forgery) for the right reasons. (Being able to continue bringing income in). It was something discussed and was in the works from the sounds of it but he pulled the trigger without a heads up. This could have easily been avoided by a simple phone call asking permission to sign for her.

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  123. Nicole Maher Nicole Maher says:

    I can forgive anything except a lie and he outright committed fraud. I’d be outraged. You have a right to be pissed. Completely! You’ll have to decide for yourself how you’ll deal with this. Only you can decide what is a deal breaker for you and your marriage.

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  124. There’s no way he should have been able to get a loan that required you signing for it… That right there is illegal.

    However I do have one query…. Does he not have a cell phone with a camera built in? Most recent ones have amazing cameras….

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  125. Why are you talking to Facebook instead of your husband. Your answer lies there.

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  126. I understand how it is that you feel betrayed, but in the scope of betrayal, this isn’t as bad as it could be. I understand red flags. If this isn’t the first you have full right to be disturbed. On the other hand, if this was a planned “thing” and he wanted to prevent rooting you from the house while you were ill, then at least his heart was in the right place. As far as forging your signature, that’s f*ked up. That’s not the way to do it.

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  127. Legit sounds like you’ve been looking for an easy out if your reaction to this situation (even though I don’t 100% agree with it) is divorce

    You need to probably talk about deeper issues if this sets you off

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  128. It sounds like you feel violated because he betrayed your trust. The icing on the stress case is the financial hardship of this as well as being caught off-guard. You’re in the right to feel this way and your feelings are valid. But you need to have an open, honest conversation with him. Lay out your feelings and come to a solution together. He probably doesn’t see it as a big deal because he doesn’t understand the emotional implications of his actions and he won’t unless you explain it. I doubt he did this to hurt you but now you’re hurt so it needs to be discussed.

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  129. He financed a camera? Must be some camera.! And if needed for work why is he paying for it unless he is independent? And how does one even qualify for a loan if as you said you are low income? Wouldn’t your debt ratio be too high to even be considered?

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  130. James Harris James Harris says:

    heck stuff like this happens all the time, no one is immune from it. Good to ask first, but it will not be the last. Both of us have done things that the other is not happy about , but the trick is to forgive and forget because it wont be long before you do something that he will mot like.

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  131. Mary Haggart Mary Haggart says:

    well you knew he wasn’t perfect when you married him & when you married him you also married his imperfections & forgiveness is a big part of marriage .. curious did you 2 take a marriage coarse before you married so get off the couch & get back home before he makes other decisions that don’t include you

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  132. Its easy the big” D”. what else has he done behind your back.
    Divorce its only fair.

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  133. Sonja Mac Sonja Mac says:

    This is a learning and teaching moment. Relationships are built on daily lessons, some bigger than others, but all are important. Your marriage isn’t “built”. It’s not finished. It’s evolving. And so are you. And so is he, and so are tour children’s parents. Pull up your big girl panties and get in there and get messy and get this figured out! In my personal opinion, the thing that needs to be addressed is his forging your signature without your knowledge or permission. That crossed a line and that has to be acknowledged. Good luck, you got this!

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  134. It’s a camera. Grow up

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  135. All I can say..is it takes years to build a home and only minutes to tear it down…so,instead I ask you…what are you willing to lose?

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