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I can’t Be the only mom who….

I can’t be the only mom with a lonely awkward 18 year old girl. I’m looking to maybe get a group of moms and their lonely awkward older teens together. My girl is 18 and socializes with other people online. She has a hard time making friends in real life. I’d like to help her to build a social circle. She can’t be the only newly grad that struggles with making friends. Maybe we can all meet for a coffee. She has a part time job- but those aren’t her type of people. Looking for those lonely teens that are in your basement playing their online games, thinking that those are real friends 😉

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31 Responses

  1. Jack says:

    If she isn’t fat she can come hang out at my place.

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  2. I think her making friends online is going to be better than her moms setting her up with other moms and their awkward teens… any Facebook group or page she joins locally sometimes they make events or meetings. There’s also friendship apps like bumble or Vina that might help her. If she likes video games and gaming then she might easily find some friends there.

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  3. Adele Hammer Adele Hammer says:

    I have the same problem with a socially awkward 16 yr old boy

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  4. Erin Saville Erin Saville says:

    This sounds like me when I was a teen. I stayed in all the time just chatting online with others from around the world and rarely going out with “flesh friends” what few I had. I even had a boyfriend online and it got serious enough that he came to visit me in Canada from England!

    Fast forward a few years and online friends actually paved the way for me to move abroad. I married a different English guy (who I’d met online when I was 15 actually!!) and I lived in the UK for 5 years. Now we travel extensively and meet up with other people we knew from online and work online as well to fund our travels location independently!

    I’m not knocking flesh friends at all – having friends in real life is important. But sometimes online friends end up being way more integral than you may think! 😀 So be sure you support both sides!

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  5. Since she’s 18 how about getting her involved with working with youth at youth centers..there are summer camps she could also become a guidance counselor at which would help..my son attended teen time camps this summer..great experience as a student he’s looking forward to becoming a peer counselor as he gets old enough

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  6. Meetup is a good app. It has different groups around the city.

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    • Roxanne Lyon Roxanne Lyon says:

      Meetup was the suggestion I was going to make as well. It’s a great app and it’s based on the things you enjoy doing or things you would like to try doing. I love the app and use it all the time. That being said, sometimes a little help from mom is a good thing I don’t think there is anything wrong with mom trying to do this.

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  7. Jeff Hamm Jeff Hamm says:

    I think you might be underestimating the value of online friends. I’ve read and heard countless stories of people connecting in online communities and developing healthy, platonic relationships through these connections. Try to expand your idea of social interaction.

    As a side note, I don’t mean that online relationships can replace real world, local social interaction, but it’s okay to say that friends you meet online are real friends. You have a similar attitude to many parents of this generation, and I just don’t understand how you can be so dismissive of human interaction, simply because it’s through a screen and a headset or keyboard.

    Forcing social interaction that a young person isn’t comfortable with will only fill her with a resentment for coffee, and you. Don’t force her to talk to people, but do promote the scientifically verifiable idea that humans require in person social interaction to be healthier.

    Also, please please don’t make this about you.

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  8. Meh, give it time. I was the same way at that age. Forcing shit isn’t going to help by any means and can actually have a negative impact on the whole thing. Toss the idea around but don’t make her do it if she doesn’t want to.

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  9. Pat Bennett Pat Bennett says:

    Get her out volunteering, you go with her to volunteer once or twice. Then she may love it and get involved with a group of people.

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  10. Honestly I get all the well intentioned parents here… but you need to talk to your child first and see if this is even something they want. Otherwise try to back off. Your teen/young adults won’t appreciate forced interactions. I’m an adult who through illness’ has learned how powerful online friendships are. I’ve felt closer to some of these people than my “flesh friends.” You may not exactly get it, but as technology advances our social interactions change. It’s a sign of the times and maybe you and your child can meet in the middle somehow? My parents used to ridicule me over texting/Facebook… now my mom is starting gif wars and dad texts every day.

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  11. Glenda GM Glenda GM says:

    Our church has a teen group. Message me if you need info. Crysmarlyn Martinez

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  12. Send her to church

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  13. There is a an awesome group of Young Adults at Heartland Alliance in Sherwood Park…meet Wednesdays 7 to 930 w services at 615 Saturday and 915/1115 on Sundays. Our dd who is 22 attends and <3 s it there!

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  14. What about volunteering. FYI, having friends isn’t as important as society makes it out to be. It’s more important to have a tight family.

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  15. Charly Phenix Morgan DeBay

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  16. Donna Grant Donna Grant says:

    sorry but she needs to find her own way….I know times are different now but are they really? We still need the basics food, shelter, love, acceptance etc. I was thinking back to when I was 18 years old (not that old middle 70’s) and graduated at 17 1/2 (December baby). I left the Maritimes and went to live in Nanaimo, BC with my brother and his family…that lasted about a year – then I met a guy and moved to Victoria and we got married six months later. I had no one – strange City, no family etc. but I got through it. I laugh now because our first apartment was furnished and it had blue flowered plastic curtains. We were together 23 years. Life is what you want and what you make it. I now have grandchildren in the late teens and early 20’s – yes they stumble but they pick themselves up. Good luck to your daughter.

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  17. Jen Pratt Jen Pratt says:

    Maybe explore if she has social anxiety or depression? This can be caused by mental or physical reasons. Many anxieties can be due to imbalances – especially if people are picky eaters or vegetarians/vegans who don’t follow proper protocols. B vitamins, magnesium, etc. Maybe she needs to see a therapist/naturopath/TCM practitioner.

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  18. All people don’t need to be social bunnies. She has a part time job and now a days you speak to people on line – so she is socially adept. Maybe slow down and appreciate her for the quiet one that she may be.

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  19. Cindy Mason Cindy Mason says:

    Consider the fact that she may be shy and/or an introvert. Forcing her into live social interaction can cause huge problems, do NOT do anything without her permission and if she gives it keep the group very small, no more than 2,3 people.

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  20. Win Chan Win Chan says:

    Your daughter is definitely not the only one. A lot of people are socially awkward in person and prefer digital contact. Was she not very social growing up? Psychology says by the age of 13, one’s upbringing and experiences heavily shapes how this person will grow up to be. With the advances in technology (especially social media) now these socially awkward people have another comfortable avenue to converse.

    Myself and my brother were the same growing up, though it was the environments we grew up in. We grew up in a small hick town (back in the day; now it’s changed as it has grown) where we couldn’t relate to much of the other young population. Drug problems were rampart though the high schools; not uncommon to hear of a 16 year old girl who was never to be seen again after overdosing at a party. We were also raised by very strict parents who never let us see people at school outside school, and never allowed to bring other kids over. We were not allowed to have girlfriends. We were told to do nothing but study in our spare time or play sports; on the weekends we were allowed to play on the computer or watch TV for just two hours.

    Forcing your daughter definitely isn’t a good idea. That’s what my mother tried to do to my younger brother by switching him from a self-learning school program to a regular sit-down, set schedule type. He could relate to almost 0 of the other kids/teens. Obviously he was bullied. Then at one point Mother cut our internet because she did not want us conversing with people online, or having internet as entertainment. Gradually he hated people more and more. Today he’s a nice guy, but very socially awkward – can’t keep a job, has almost 0 ambition due to lack of confidence, just spends his spare time playing video games and on the computer, and doesn’t have friends outside our family dog.

    I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by a more positive environment during my later teen years and allowed to spend time with others; gradually I opened up. I was allowed the internet again eventually and met and got to date other teenage girls I met online. Then through experience I gradually learned that conversing is important to success, as nowadays it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. I couldn’t find jobs if I didn’t talk to people. I couldn’t find clients if I didn’t talk to people. This forced me to become a more socially friendly character. But if I was continued to be “forced” down another route, this may not have ever happened.

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  21. Some of my best friends today are from online games. Im a well adjusted 30 year old woman who is married and owns a home, has a career and plays video games for money on the side.
    Shes fine… and if she wants to meet other local gamers, you can send her my way. Our community is huge

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  22. Shoot I’m 23 and have this problem….

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  23. Rob Pothaar Rob Pothaar says:

    get her a ticket to Animethon

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  24. Marie says:

    OP – Rest assured you’re not the only mom/parent dealing with or having dealt with the same concerns –
    In today’s times of handheld tech gadgets, FB, other social online networks, etc … this is a big problem.

    My son is post graduate, early 20’s, a level headed young man, wise for his age, works F/T, responsible, good sense of humor (can laugh at himself), good looking and an all-around very likeable individual.
    He flew solo pretty much throughout his K-12 years. Did make a few friends in high school, of which he never really hung out with but still keeps in touch. Most of his friends today are somewhat to significantly older than he is… which is perfectly fine in my books, for they are all very decent people, and oftentimes good mentors as well. “All good.”

    However… he is missing female friends! AND NO ! … he is NOT gay … but straighter than an arrow… though he does have some nice gay people friends as well. We have one nice young man evolving into a well-rounded individual.

    Problem is though, with many young females these days… quite often what he sees (what I/we see) out there for young adult females … ummm,.. no… no thanks.

    It would be nice to see or be able to find a group of ‘decent’ young adults who are normal … SANS things like rainbow hair, piercings and/or tattoos all over their bodies … SANS the tone / slang language talk many of them use these days. I’m just saying, “SANS those things” … they’re not for everybody.

    Aspiring in this reply, to come upon a normal, decent young adult group as well… if there is such a thing.
    So, if you discover somewhere along the line, something sane out there for decent young adults … Do post about your findings OP ~
    Also, if other readers reading this happen to be thinking on / looking for the same thing … please post if you know of any such groups ~

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