I’m the OP about VAC not helping spouses. I should include some more info

This post is an update to:

My spouse has been begging for help. So for those of you assholes making it out that he has to need it and I didn’t matter while my spouse was still a CF member. My spouse has been BEGGING for help and constantly dismissed.

As for me not mattering while he was in obviously has no fucking clue how it works. You are the reason so many of us spouses don’t reach out. Because we get nothing but negative feed back when we are asking for help. I KNOW there’s lots of Bets and spouses on here hence why I’m posting. They can maybe help me get info! Obviously she or he didn’t always have it. And maybe no one realizes it because it was hidden. He/she released due to it coming to the surface! Before you comment being a douche maybe you should figure out how it works! I say he/she because I don’t need him/her to feel even worse thinking it might be about them. We as spouses try to avoid that because in any case that’s something we want to avoid.

When it comes down to this we as spouses SHOULD matter when he/she has already told VAC case manager many times how it’s effecting me. THAT is when I should matter! Ffs I’m asking for help. I’ve been to psychologists in AHS who constantly say they have no experience in this stuff and I need to be seen at the same place as my spouse where they know what he/she is dealing with and can help me in the same way as them.

Maybe I neeed a couple positive comments from others to help lift me up a little bit. At this point I don’t care if it’s a stranger or not, I just need a positive comment. So I’d you don’t have one. Keep it to yourself!



12 Responses

  1. Bobby Sam Bobby Sam says:

    Wow, I didn’t read your first post until after I read this one. I am sorry you are hurting this much and I am worried about you. Dealing with any type of mental illness is stressful on everyone in a family. Please go to a hospital emergency room and have them assess you and put you in touch with a therapist. You can only support your spouse when you are being looked after as well. I wish you well.

  2. Koren Conway Koren Conway says:

    Try Catholic Social Services for their counselling services. There’s also 408-Link that could suggest places too. A 24- hour hotline is there for a listening ear and kept confidential. Sobriety is the best way to cope. Keep distance from those who are not on a sober path for healthy living circle. Also AA or NA meetings encourage you to find positive coping mechanisms for PTSD. Sharing and hearing stories in there helps. They also have couple counselling through Catholic Social Services. You won’t meet anyone in those places who care about what rank you are or who exactly is in the military. That’s a positive thing. Yet handling issues one day at a time helps alot. Take care.

  3. I just read you original post,after this one. There are places to turn. Osiss is one and there are others. You are not alone. Reach out and keep reaching out until you get where you need to be.

  4. I have no advice for you, OP but I do hope you and your family get the help you need.

  5. I’m a veteran with PTSD currently going to the EOSIC, I had my fair share of problems getting in and dealing with VAC. You can message me if you want and I can try to help, pass on some ideas maybe, what has and hasn’t worked for me.

    I also might be easier to talk to about your issues instead of burdening your spouse. I have another friend that’s kind of in the same situation.

  6. There are so many keyboard Rambo’s out there. I don’t get it myself. It seems to be so easy to be nasty these days. I’ve got no good advice, I’m sorry. I can give you a virtual hug if it does any good.

  7. OP can you please message me? I’d like to share more of my experiences, but not in such a public forum..

  8. I am sorry you are experiencing so many roadblocks and sorry people felt the need to be rude to you when all you were trying to do was get advice on how to get help. I can’t help you but I truly hope someone can point you in the right direction. I am appalled that our government is not being as supportive to our Veterans and their families as they should be. Good luck! ((HUGS))

  9. I am going through this same thing right now. Please feel free to PM me.

  10. MrWonderful says:

    There will soon be a day when I drag the judeo-masonic hand puppet politicians from the back of my chariot. Canada will be for Canadians again and when the CF serves me they will be provided for as deserved instead of being disposal pawns for a select group of pathetically weak and cowardly individuals who are even incapable of intellectual or physical work.


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