Is this normal?
Long post sorry. So, i’m 34 years old now. And I have no idea what to do with my life. I am a happy mother. Moneys not too tight, we’re not in debt, I have a good relationship with my family and we love helping people in the neighborhood who seem to need a hand of some sorts (carrying groceries, crossing the street or just an ear to listen etc etc).
Yet I find myself sitting and thinking about maybe meeting someone for a possible relationship. Then I also think “wait!, i’e forgotten how to go about even being in a relationship, about keeping one”.
My last fiancé left me to be with his married gf, all the time we were together, even meeting my family, planning for the future and such, and he up and leaves me when I found out he had a gf in another city. That was several years ago now. Lately I’ve been dating guys where I paid for the whole date, and he expected sex. Or guys who think i’m going to wait around for years on end for them to make up their minds what they want out of “us” I don’t really have time for that anymore. I dated someone off and in for 4 years, I called it quits, I became upset because in all that time he refused to meet my family and me to his. He had no interest in having children. At my age, I don’t want a relationship just for fun or casual sex. It was fine when I was 23 but not now. He wouldn’t even go out anywhere, just wanted to stay home. To me, no dates means no sex. You cant expect a girl to give it up all the time if you don’t treat her for a nightout once in awhile. So 4 years later, with no marriage and no children. I gave up on him. he still calls and texts wondering why I never respond, and I never will.
The guys I consider meeting for coffee now, don’t want coffee and companionship, they want Netflix and chill. Even men in their 40’s. And sorry i’m not interested in that. I want a coffee date in a public place, maybe dinner, lets walk along whyte ave or something and just chat. But it seems that’s too much to ask for nowadays. I’m a very cynical female. I know when I’m being buttered up for sex and I wont have any of it, I want a connection, I want to fall In love first, I want my family to meet him before we decide to start having sex.
Being plus sized doesn’t seem to help even though I don’t mind my weight, seeing as how i’m harder to kidnap and all.:(. Am I normal, am I unrealistic?. Are normal dates and relationships out the window unless one is a 5’7 120 blonde girl who is a lawyer or a doctor nowadays?.
Instead, i’m a plus sized brunette who enjoys eating Nutella on croissants who spends more time baking for my coworkers than I do at the gym, listening to queen, hanging out with my small family, reading a book, and playing age of empires or the sims 3.