No closure

A couple years ago I was four months pregnant, I went for my ultrasound and they told me she had died inside of me. They called it a failure to misscarry. I was given two options to help me misscarry. A dnc basically an abortion or pills to take that would help me naturally misscarry.
I chose the pills with in six hours I started to get very crampy. It was unbearably so, I had to go in the hospital (grey nuns) I told them my situation and I waited in the waiting room for nine hours before I was seen. Even though i was basically in labor…
They looked at my cervix and the placenta was stuck and wouldn’t pass through they had to do an emergency dnc, with no pain meds. It was the most agonizing thing ive went through. My labor and delivery of my other children wasnt as painful. I begged for pain relief. I never got it, I bled out so much they had to keep me in for four days because of how much blood I lost I couldn’t leave my blood pressure was so low I almost died from heart failure.

Out of all the trauma my body endured. My heart was most affected… I lost my baby.. I asked to keep the pieces of her so I could cremate them and I never got to.. why can’t I take them home i asked.. she told me i wasn’t aloud. Even though it was my fetus that i grew…I had no closure. Its been almost two years and I wonder who they would look like…



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