DYK Post

Ok so now I’m a racist?

Today I took my son and daughter to the park at Dunluce. He walked, and my daughter rode this little pink ride on Jeep she loves. We got to the park and I sat down and they went and played.

I pulled the Jeep beside me. A little boy climbed in, and I said “oh sorry no thank you”. And he looked at me and then turned and ignored. I said to him “not yours out you go” and his mom smiled at me and said “he just wants to try he’s never been in one” and I responded by telling her “he didn’t ask and it doesn’t belong to him so can you please have him come out?” And she huffed and puffed and pulled him out and left.

Her friend with her then frantically gathered her kids and started running after her and then turned to me and said “god I hope your kids don’t grow up like your racist fat ass”. Yes I am fat. I am also white and they were not. I won’t say what they were because I can just imagine the comments. But you know what I’m not? Racist. Nope. Just a fellow mom asking your kids to show the same amount of respect you’d expect from mine.

This toy was 100% NOT this little boys toy. As parents it’s your job to teach your child manners and to ask before touching someone else’s toy. This kid had to be about 4-5 years old. Lord knows if I’d have let him play in it and he got hurt they’d have come after me threatening to sue me.

Please, for the love of all things stop telling people they’re racist because their skin is different and maybe they don’t agree with you. Stop swearing at other parents at the park in the presence of other children. Don’t blow your top when someone tells your child “no”. It’s not like I withheld water from him in the desert. And please teach your children to ask before touching things. Or are we all just so far gone that in order to be considered “nice” and “accepting” we have to allow ourselves to be walked all over?



79 Responses

  1. Mike Columcille says:

    “White privilege” is a myth. Anyone who says it exists is probably a racist, against white people.

    If a black man, for instance, is being harassed at the store, or by the cops, then that’s something that shouldn’t be happening. But if a white man is in a store, or out and about and no one harasses him, that isn’t because he is “privileged” to not be harassed. THAT’S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE!

    Maybe instead of calling it, “White Privilege”, you ought to see it as “Black Disadvantage”.

    As a white man, if you tell me I have “white privilege”, I’ll laugh at you and tell you to f*** off, because you got that crap straight from the divisive, racist Cult of Intersectionality. But if you point out that black folks often experience something that is inherently unfair (racially targeted harassment), and that something ought to be done about that… I would agree with you 100%!

    • Kathy Weidenfeller says:

      Problem with that is that it shifts blame to some ‘other’. White people are responsible for this – and we’re the only ones that can do something about it. Shifting the blame and waiting for the powers that be to make things better is not doing anyone any favors.

  2. Mike Columcille says:

    If someone calls you a racist for something stupid like this, call them a rapist, or a Satanist, or a pedophile.
    I know what you’re thinking… “but they’re probably NOT a rapist, Satanist, or pedophile!”
    Yeah, and you’re not a racist!

  3. Meg says:

    The real issue here is that you handled the child sitting in the Jeep with the maturity of a porcupine. If you don’t want kids exploring what you bring to the park, take something less exciting. The toddler would have sat there for a few minutes and then carried on. You are the one who made the initial fuss. Absolutely ridiculous.

  4. Lianna Costantino says:

    It is very telling how many white people in this thread are clearly clueless to the implicit bias, racism and white privilege being shown here.

    So let me give you a hint:

    If you are defending this white woman and claiming loudly that you are not racist, you are racist, and you have an awful lot of homework to do if you care to change that.

    Otherwise, you’re just part of the problem.

    It is a HUGE *white privilege* to be able to learn about racism and choose whether or not you care to acknowledge it or talk about it when you do not have to face it and deal with it every single day of your life.

    WAKE UP. ITS 2019.

  5. Faren Deeb says:

    Just own your racism AND your classism. And as another pointed out, we already see the lessons you’re teaching your kids. And bringing up denying them water in the desert is loaded as well. You’re winning crap bag human bingo

  6. Cindy James says:

    I’m sure if you had the opportunity to deny this child water in the desert that would “not” be racist in your eyes either. Exactly what lesson did you teach this child, or your own children, in this instance? How will all of those children carry that lesson forward in their lives? Why did you assume this family would want to sue you? How is it possible to be so unaware of the implicit bias in your language and actions? When did it become so difficult to be a decent human?

    • A.E. Brittain says:

      What got me was this mine, mine, mine. It’s a 5 year old child. Defending her behaviour by pulling out the “racism?” card? That has my spidey sensors going off. The only reason for asking that question suggests that she refused because she saw a child who was not white and wanted to refuse him his common humanity. Fed up with adults using their power to oppress and demean small hildren. White woman ` yes your racism is showing you for what you are . A 5 yr old child? Wow!

    • Kit Thurman says:

      Cindy is right. Sorry OP but your white privilege is showing. If you were actually a nice person you’d have let the kid sit in the car for a bit while it wasn’t in use.

      Shame on you for not sharing. Shame on you for whining about getting called out. Shame on you for being racist.

      • Doug says:

        All you people posting on here that OP is a racist are fucking insane. Not just a wee bit crazy, not looney….fucking insane. The problem here is the mother of the boy who did not and does not expect the kid to respect other people’s property. And on top of that, she is teaching him to ignore authority figures (read: owner of the property). She could’ve taken him out and told him that next time he needs to ask first. But nope, she just leaves him there. And yet, the headline for you people is your assumption that a disrespectful white kid would’ve been allowed. So many people looking to play victim and call out the lack of manners as racism.

  7. Truth says:

    I’m not gonna call you a racist because of your behavior, I’m gonna call you a racist because you are white and all white people are racist as a result of the white supremacy we benefit from every day. Your behavior and attitude is as a bully. You had multiple chances to make it a teachable moment and you chose to be a bully. We’re you a bully because you are a racist? That probably made it worse. Shame on you for responding to a child that way.

  8. A Black Guy says:

    The comments here remind me of a KKKlan rally.

  9. E.dec says:

    Interesting how all white people here are not asking questions even about why woman called a racist.

    Interesting how all people here defending this one side of the story as not racist are white.

    Guess you all would not get the statement all white people are racist. Would you freak out at that assertion , get angry. Or would you try to figure out how this statement is true.

    Also surprise this is in Edmonton, Alberta with Janson Kinney and his ties to white nationalism. (Also racist)

  10. YES!!!!!
    Very well said and played!
    Hats off to you momma!
    Thank you for being a good mom and enforcing respect for yours and child’s belongings!!!

    • Kathleen Weidenfeller says:

      First off, we really don’t know how old the child actually was (how many of you are aware that white people tend to see Black and Brown children as older than they actually are. This is not something I made up, there are plenty of studies and lived experiences to prove it).

      The OP’s interaction with the child, if she’s telling us correctly what she said, are, in my opinion, strange, and show no respect towards the child or their mother. Again, we don’t know the exact age of the child, and we only have the op’s description to go by.

      Finally, after all of this – the op felt it necessary to publicly share this story – for what reason? She’s looking for absolution, and validation that she is a ‘good mother’ and ‘not racist’. While the actions she recounts show that at least in this instance, she has shown bad judgement not just once but several times during the whole ordeal.

      I feel for the poor child – and the op’s children for having to witness this interaction. I heard nothing rude or inappropriate in the way the child’s mother interacted with the op – and I hear disrespect and racist ideas in both the op’s recounting of the story and just the fact that she felt the need to make it public.

      All of you who support her – I hope you examine your views, and the way you interact with children of all races and their parents in addition to being aware of the example you set for your own children. And yes, I am a mother of 4 grown children. All of whom are respectful to people of all races, and are aware of the privilege they have by the color of their skin and where they were born.

  11. Barry Martin Barry Martin says:

    I love how people throw that racism card every time they get called on their B.S.

  12. When I lived in a townhome my neighbour had a gathering of sixty people in her tiny little townhouse. Our walls vibrated, they parked everywhere, even double parked and parked in my driveway.
    Parking enforcement came and she claimed they were racist and she was going to the human rights ….
    Some people need a dictionary and look up the word entitlement as well as racist lol

  13. Good on you ! I’ve never had my ass planted in a Lamborghini. Doesn’t mean I’ll go sit in strangers cars . And playing the race card is low this mom needs a few lessons herself . I don’t blame the kid

  14. Warren David Warren David says:

    they now use their color to their advantage to get what they want..

    • duh says:

      what advantages exactly do BIPOC get in “using their color??
      BIPOC are still being shot and killed by police. Our government supports the removal of First Nations people from their lands. who exactly is benefitting here?? (answer: white people)

  15. Lori Weir Lori Weir says:

    Exactly right I’m glad you let them know most parents don’t show manners just let their children do whatever they want it’s not right

    • Kathleen Weidenfeller says:

      Do you know this woman personally? How can you possibly judge her actions by her account of this one incident? Why is it that you (especially since I am assuming you are white) are so easy to absolve this white woman by her own account of this one incident, and so quick to judge the mother and child by hearing a retelling of the story by a person trying to defend their own actions?

  16. i was taught to always ask. was drilled into my head so well that despite my grandma telling me to just come in when i arrive i still knock. she also gives us free range of the kitchen besides the stove when little and guess what… i still asked every time and do to this day and im 32 years old. yes sharing lessons are needed but so are lessons in respecting other peoples property and apparently comprehending the word no. the op isnt the racist here its the other party because until they brought it up it wasnt in the radar of the op. some people drive me nuts.

  17. Preach momma. No way I will allow that either simply for the safety factor alone. So you are 100% right. How dare them for acusing you of being racist. But I think it’s used as an excuse alot more then it should be now a days

  18. Andrew Gregg Andrew Gregg says:

    I fully agree. People misuse the term racist far too often. You did nothing wrong. People need to teach their children to respect other people, their property and their belongings.

    Disagreeing with someone of a different race does not make one a racist. It simply means they disagree. Period.

    • Kathy Weidenfeller says:

      The op was not disagreeing with a person of a different race. She was interacting with a child, in a disrespectful manner, and continue to disrespect both the child and their mother by making this incident public, and asking people do absolve her of any wrong doing.

      We only have her words to go by, and no account by the mother’s child (who may have a very different story to tell.

      It is very telling that you so easily rush to defend this white woman, and that you (I’m assuming you are white as well) and so many others here seem to think you understand what racism is better than the non-white mother and friend in this incident.

  19. I was recently called a racist for having my dog off the leash in the park. Everything a white person does is racist these days. I can no longer take it seriously.

  20. That’s just ignorant on Their part. No way, shape or form was that racist of you. Parents NEED to teach their children to not touch what isn’t theirs. Kudos to you!

  21. I was taught, “if its not yours- dont touch it”!!! I teach my daughter the same. Some people are just entitled.

  22. Manners and respect, the first things children should be taught.

  23. Nope not racist .
    Your child is not obligated to share
    Nor is it your responsibility to allow strangers kids to utilize their things

  24. Kyle Bolt Kyle Bolt says:

    Your white. You must racist….any comments that you say are clearly racist and you just need to be “educated”…smh. don’t even give that crap recognition, people will always blame there short comings on others… It’s just in vogue to now do it based on skin color.. privilege…and your “opportunity” they they ” never “had…just say cheers and relax. Because it does not matter what is true or not their perspective is theirs and not yours or your problem for that matter either.

    • Kathy Weidenfeller says:

      But how is it possible that you, a white person, know better than the Black people in this incident (or others) what racism is?

      Have you ever stopped to consider how long people with Black and Brown skin have felt this way, and only now feel empowered enough to stand up for themselves? I think it’s time for all of us white people to take long, hard looks in the mirror. Stop getting angry at others, and start realizing that we’ve been sold a whole ton of BS for a long time.

  25. The media AND the Liberal government are creating this separation. It will get worse.

    • Kathy Weidenfeller says:

      Nope. This separation has been going on for at least 400 yrs. It’s just that we white people are finally getting called out on a scale and level that can’t be ignored any more. What are you so afraid of? Why is it so hard to just be respectful and nice to people??

  26. Just move to the east coast where you aren’t the minority

  27. Unfortunately lots of ppl tend to forget to teach their kids respect.
    The mom of the other kid sounds like an ignorant bitch.

  28. Les Ley Les Ley says:

    Don’t need to defend yourself at all
    Some people are ridiculous.

  29. Lou Fidd Lou Fidd says:

    I agree with you…and that was uncalled for what they said to you..

  30. Dawn Erasmus Dawn Erasmus says:

    Agree as well teach my children always ask or dont touch if it’s not yours, nothing racist about that. Teaching your children respect no matter what. Smh some people don’t realize that the consequences of liability if anything happens can get sue etc…

  31. I don’t like to share my things either. I don’t expect my kids too. I bought their stuff so no don’t share it etc…… I would never let a stranger sit in my car oh hell no gtfo….people need to teach their kids to respect others properties. No not racist at all

  32. That a boundary and respect issue.
    If that little boy came up to you and said may I try and ride that toy. I’m sure it would have been fine. Kids now are not taught respect and think everything belongs to them. You were definitely in the right. I would have said the same thing.

    • Lianna Costantino says:

      These comments!!! OMG!

      Racism is alive and well in the U.S. Just look at this little Klan meeting right here!

      YES, this woman displayed RACIST behavior. As well as RUDE behavior. SHAME ON HER! What the hell is wrong with people?

      Oh, and LEARN TO SHARE!!!!!! Dear God…….

      Educate yourselves, for God’s sake. It’s not hard. Go to the “Conversations with Black People”, “Conversations with People of Color” or “Conversations with White People” on Facebook.

      EVOLVE. ITS 2019 FOR GOFS SAKE take off those hoods and crawl out from under those rocks stop being afraid of we’re looking down your nose at anybody who looks different from you.

  33. You did the right thing. Don’t sweat the idiots.

  34. Troy Aucoin Troy Aucoin says:

    People don’t know what the word racist means anymore, they just throw it out there when they’re to stupid to know how to respond

  35. Unfortunately many many people are raised without the basic values of respect, courtesy and boundaries ! It does not matter what their background is, where they are from or even age. Sadly, nowadays , people will scream rascism and use it as an excuse for anything they do.

  36. This pisses me off. I’ve taught my kids to ALWAYS ASK!!!!! Always!!!! They still do and they are 13 and 15, they even have to ask each other if they want to borrow something from each other now as brothers! The other day my son wanted to use his brothers helmet because he couldn’t find his and I gave him permission to use it.
    We were at the beach a few years ago and this kid came up to my boys on the beach and grabbed a bucket of sand toys and I told the boy that the toys were ours and the boys were making a sand castle, the mom gave me that annoyed smile and says “oh I figured it was ok because your boys each have their own bucket and we’re only using one set” ummmmm no. Then she called her kid over and was pissed at me!!! Lol. I mumbled something about asking first and not to assume. The look she gave me made me laugh. Get a life and realize the world doesn’t revolve around you.

  37. Jenny Proulx Jenny Proulx says:

    Some parents cant teach their kids manners. Not your fault

  38. Some ppl don’t get the respect part. I’d be telling that Mom she needs to teach her child how to ask politely. Sick that they get behind the race charge. Some ppl just don’t get it and that is why kids today have zero respect for anyone. Shitty people raising shitty kids.

  39. Mike Gunn Mike Gunn says:

    Just laugh it off. Not your fault that kids parents can’t afford to buy some power wheels for their kids.

  40. Candace Owen Candace Owen says:

    I agree. I have 7 kids, 3 kids with special needs and i have taught them you always ask…before touching other’s stuff, animals, or food. It’s just common courtesy.
    Also, as adults, if you take without asking, it’s called stealing, and you get charged. So, teaching kids to ask is preparing them for a better future

  41. Joan Warren Joan Warren says:

    The whole world is entitled , if you disagree with anyone your racist. People are riduclous . Live and let live .

  42. The mother of the boy was being racist and body shaming! The OP did nothing wrong. There is no expectation to share in public. That’s like saying an adult should “share” their car with a strange who is trying to drive it… no that’s stealing even if they “intended@ to return it.

    People are fucked!

  43. Not racist, just have a sense of courtesy that the kid has obviously not been taught.

  44. So it the kid broke it then it daughter would be out a toy cause u know some one with that type of attitude would definitely not pay for damages to said toy

  45. Same thing happened at Evansdale school with the kids and they’re scooters!

  46. Maja Black Maja Black says:

    This would have a great opportunity to teach your child yo share.

  47. You did nothing wrong. This is the problem of today everyone throws words around not even with a fraction of understanding of what the word even means. I’m sorry you experienced such hate.

  48. I totally agree with you! If my child goes up to something and wants to see it or try it or pet it, they ask.

  49. That’s the left for you,you dont agree and your racist

  50. Karo Li Na Karo Li Na says:

    Think what you want !
    Here it goes ….
    Remember that ….

    If someone has inferiority complex they will turn tables around so you feel bad.

  51. I’m sorry to hear you had this experience. Kids need to learn respect, would an adult just hop in an unknown persons car on purpose without ill intent. No! So kids need to be taught boundaries; and sometimes it’s up to the community to teach this as well.

  52. I took my son to the park and he insisted he needed his Ironman doll. Got to the park and he was playing quietly in the sand. Another kid came over and demanded the toy. When my son told me crying i went to get the toy back. I was told i was racist and should teach my son to share. Ummmm no, his toy, his choice and told her her comment was racist

  53. I get this. I’ve always taught my kids to respect others property. To always ask before playing with someone else’s toy, using the “how would you feel if someone walked off with your toy?” The only way you saying no is racist is if you were letting kids of one race come play with it and not kids of a different one. Kids need to learn rules and boundaries. There is so little of that lately.

  54. It’s understood that kids will be kids and he just wanted to try it. What I don’t get is why that mother didn’t teach her child right then and there that he needs to learn to ask first and wait for a response before just doing what he wants. Would have been a great learning opportunity. These days it’s all about me me me. So many people think that their child is the only one in the world that matters and maybe to them they are but not to the rest of us. It’s really too bad that this mother decided to call names and assume that it’s about race. I think the only lesson that child learned was to believe everyone is racist. What a sad society we live in.

  55. Did someone say “nice” after denying a KID a ride on a toy? Wtf ever happened to sharing. And being nice?

  56. You raise an interesting perspective

  57. Yea they need a dictionary- there was no mention or denial based on race so yea that’s far-fetched.
    Sounds like they need more important things going on in their lives.

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