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Regarding the disappointed hamper donating family

In response to the family that was disappointed that the response to their charity wasn’t appropriate, I’ve been in that situation as well. Everything from animal rescue organizations who I chose to help and not getting much acknowledgement or thanks for my donation, to giving people money on the streets and not getting any eye contact, to participating in the hamper program and finding that the family wasn’t even home.

Having to drive our donation back to the Expo centre and never knowing if the family got our gifts or not. I was particularly irritated when the family who was getting our hamper wasn’t there to receive it. In the case of the hamper program, I’m sorry to say but I think that a lot of people are doing it more for themselves than truly for others. (Not saying that this family is in that category but I see it all the time) There’s no reason to post a selfie of your generosity, or endless posts on Facebook about all your donations and charities. Seriously I think some people can’t just quietly give with no strings attached, no expectations of a response. That year that we participated in the hamper program and the family wasn’t there, it dawned on me that part of the problem was me not getting the full experience. There’s something not right about that. If I’m expecting some sort of a response then it’s not really charity, it’s about me. As one poster said over and over in that thread, charity shouldn’t come with strings attached. If people don’t respond with the kind of gratitude I am expecting, so be it. I have made certain choices about where I will put my money and time and have withdrawn my support from some programs for various reasons, but the ones I choose to stay with are going to remain that way regardless of what kind of response I get.

Yeah people are rude, I’m not going to get too bent about it and I don’t feel sorry for the family who didn’t get thanked enough. If they can afford to support 3 other families they are doing ok. Charity is a great concept to teach your kids but a part of that is being charitable of heart and mind and not having any expectations of anything in return.

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20 Responses

  1. Jenna Bain Jenna Bain says:

    Too many ppl out there with the I Deserve attitude. There’s something to be said about gratitude. Both sides should practice that

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  2. Saying thank you is not a pat on the back. Saying thank you is showing gratitude. Be kind to one another!!!

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  3. I do not think wanting a thank you is out of line. If this is expecting too much in our society, something is seriously wrong with us as a society.

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  4. Well said indeed. I go out of my way to stay anonymous. My hands and heart give.. not my ego

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  5. I am sad to hear you have also had negative experiences with animal rescue as well. I know our organization strives to appreciate all of our volunteers and donators as we rely solely on them. Thank you for not giving up! ❤️

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  6. Great lesson about giving with your heart. Thank you for sharing.

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  7. I feel needing personal thanks kind of defeats the purpose of forward. People have their pride. Perhaps the knowledge that they need assistance is humiliating to them. Just having the ability to give some family a better Christmas is payment enough for me. I wouldn’t want or need a pat on the back.

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  8. What bugged me most w as the one person who didn’t say thanx just “that’s it?” Then closed the door in my face. I love doing deliveries but that’s heartbreaking

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  9. Ruth Beter Ruth Beter says:

    Every generation has different expectations, its how they were raised so you cant categorize everyone and put them all in the same basket, however its nice to see and hear that most people truly appreciate the donations they are given but not all, which is sad to see but you don’t know what road they are on and there are so many what ifs, pray for them and leave it in Gods hands.

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  10. If manners are generational then a big asteroid needs to come and get rid of us.

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  11. Laura Love Laura Love says:

    This year, and the last few years have been very hard for people in general. For myself as an adult I have never required services and have helped where I can. Even a $5 food bank purchase here and there can help others. Tensions rise during the holidays for all kinds of reasons even beyond human needs not being met. Try to focus on what you have, there will always be others that have more. Try to concentrate on what you can do, there will always be others who can do more. Love and compassion are out there as are appreciation. Recognise that everyone does these things differently. I know personally that my expectations are for me alone. It helps to reduce the disappointment when others don’t rise to a certain level.

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  12. The family we sponsored this year made my Christmas. They were so thankful without even knowing what was in the bags. It brought a lot of joy and Christmas spirit to me .

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  13. I don’t think a thank you is a lot to ask. However maybe they are in shock and happy and just can’t get the words out for a few. But being rude, telling them to drop it on the step and pretty much beat it is terrible.

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  14. Still missed the entire point of the previous post. Being rude is being rude. Forget about the thank yous already.

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  15. Ceol Poon Ceol Poon says:

    Thank you. I’ve wanted to say this for some time. *nods*

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  16. Colleen Lang Colleen Lang says:

    Merry Christmas Jeanne

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  17. True charity is anonymous

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  18. Kelly Smith Kelly Smith says:

    thank you for sharing.. but the family that wasn’t home to receive maybe had a emergency or were embarrassed never know both sides.. but thank yous can mean so much too

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