SUBMIT A POST!

Response to “4 year relationship inquiring about Open Relationships”

First, let me clear the air with one thing that a lot of you were mentioning – This idea of the Open Relationship isn’t just for me to go out and satisfy my sexual needs. He would also be doing the same.

Yes, I sound completely vain. I know, not meaning too.

I have supported him with all the NUMEROUS of failed attempts at trying to diet. He will try something – and it will last maybe two weeks. Juicing, P90X – cutting some foods out. He doesn’t stick to it. He won’t go the gym because it costs money. I explain to him that he is the type that needs to be physically working out and eating healthy to lose weight, because just changing his diet doesn’t help – it almost makes it worse (water weight) but he does NOT LISTEN. I push him to come out for rollerblade/bike rides with the dog and I. But even getting him up to do things is kind of exhausting some days.

When he is home, (two weeks on/two weeks off), we do have sex. Maybe once, or twice. I have not just stopped putting out. But I just don’t enjoy it like I know I could/should be. I miss orgasms. FYI – he has been the only male to give me one properly. So I know what I am missing out on! We had amazing sex before his weight gain.

I too had also put on some weight, and I wasn’t completely happy – but okay with it – cause normally I am quite petite. But, he made his comments and jokes and poked fun. And guess what? I LOST THE WEIGHT! I get it is easier for some people.

STORY CONTINUES BELOW

If he was living back home – he would be more active. He lives in the country and is completely outdoorsy. but out here he just goes into this slumber is it driving me nuts. I feel like his mother half the time.

So I know I sound like a cunt for not being attracted to my boyfriend sexually – but I feel like I am doing my part. We are great in every other aspect, except this.

Thanks Edmonton.

116 TOTAL READS
53 SHARES
42 COMMENTS


SOME RELATED POSTS:

42 Responses

  1. Jesus girl just move on this is just messed up find everything you need somewhere else this b.s is just fkn weird
    Just my opinion

    [0]
  2. My wife and I have an open relationship and it works great for us. We are open about our communication, our finances, our goals and values. We are also open to our commitment to each other that the only sex partners we want is each other.

    Unless Scarlett Johansson starts calling. Then all bets are off.

    [0]
  3. Geeze… sounds like you’re more of a nag than anything…. Let him be an “open relationship” isn’t going to help yours it’s just going to destroy it. If you’re not happy leave. If he doesn’t want to lose weight he’s not going to and you trying to force him to do so isn’t helping. You sound more unhappy with his appearance than anything else….. If my husband put on extra weight i wouldn’t care at all i still love him for him no matter how he looks.

    [0]
  4. Ashley Cragg Ashley Cragg says:

    If you don’t love him for who he is and not what he looks like then that is not love. Let the poor guy go. Let him find someone who will support him and encourage him and be attracted to him for him. And you can go be with someone pretty. But 10 years from now that’s not what will be important to you. Love is important. Support is important. Stability and dependability are important. Looks change and looks fade but shallow and bitchy is forever.

    [0]
  5. To each his own !

    [0]
  6. You’re really trying to justify screwing other people while still attached to him aren’t you? An open relationship will not work in this instance. You want to cheat but are too scared to break it off with him. If you’re really serious about salvaging the relationship, get some counselling for each other and be more supportive about helping him lose weight. Or just break up with him and move on.

    [0]
  7. Weight gain, lack of concern, sleeping lots, loss of interest in sex… Are you sure he’s not depressed?

    [0]
  8. If you’re not attracted to your SO, and are contemplating an open relationship, why not do the thing that is going to happen in the end: get on with your life, and let him get on with his. If you love him, let him go. There’s nothing wrong with having your own tastes, your own needs. They are your responsibility though, not his.

    [0]
  9. Why do you feel the need to try to justify yourself to strangers? It’s your life, your decisions will ultimately make or break your relationship! A word of caution, you can’t turn back time! Once you are sexual with someone else there is no taking it back… Be sure it’s really what you want! The grass is NOT always greener on the other side of the fence!

    [0]
  10. All I see in this post is “Me, what I want, how I feel”. What about him? He sounds depressed. And the worst part is the lack of respect and support you have. An open relationship is a kick in the face. Just do him a favor and end it already.
    #FirstWorldProblems
    *hair flip*

    [0]
    • 100% perfect comment! it’s all about her not him

      [0]
    • That’s how I understood it!!

      [0]
    • That’s exactly how I am reading it as well.

      [0]
    • Something tells me you’re basically looking to say “eff you” to him because he poked fun at you when you gained some weight now it’s your turn to poke fun. Sounds like you guys have a little bit of a toxic relationship. Unless he’s gained 100 pounds and can’t throw down like he used too there is more to this issue than just the weight gain….

      Also, you’re shitting on him while he’s trying to make changes? You should be very happy he’s tried changing his eating habits, Perhaps you should let him take baby steps instead of ramming it down his throat for your personal gain. If I was him id tell you to pound sand.

      [0]
  11. With a gf like you it seems to me no wonder if you both are poking fun of each other sounds like there is no respect either way open relationship isn’t the answer here time to move on so both can find happiness. In the end it’s your life though if it works for you then go for it who cares what all the internet folk say

    [0]
  12. Girl, you’re done with him. An open relationship ain’t gonna fix it. As a poly person, I guarantee that – adding people during strained times, you’re gonna have a bad time and probably lose everyone. 4years means nothing if you’ve lost that connection with your lover, and that’s all I’m hearing. End it. Move on. Grow. All you can do.

    [0]
  13. are you both prepared for changes in the dynamics of your relationship and the possibility that each other’s outlook on your relationship will change?Just because one partner says they are open to concept does not mean it will always be that way.

    [0]
  14. Ruth Beter Ruth Beter says:

    Give your head a serious shake!!! There is more at stake than you realize!!!

    [0]
  15. So he is the only one who can give you a proper orgasim. (Actual sex I guess you’re saying) So you’re going to be what? Having sex with different men until you find another one who can do this?
    You’ve obviously made up your mind what you want to do. Stop trying to convince us and just go about your business.

    [0]
  16. Girl get your self a magic wand lol and don’t give yourself to anyone else

    [0]
  17. Leave. Your obviously not happy. Your only worried about what he looks like. If you love someone it shouldn’t matter. What happened since 30 yes down the road you gain weight and can’t get to off and he tells u ur not attractive anymore. You would be hurt and mad. Your just trying to find lame excuses to cheat of him. I feel sorry for him. He doesn’t need someone like you to treat him this way. Be supportive not demanding. Good luck. I see you being single soon. Move on if the attraction is no longer there

    [0]
  18. I think you live him but are not in love with him.
    If you were you wouldn’t care.
    When looks turn you off, that isn’t love.

    [0]
  19. sex is important. as I read all the comments, yes he may be depressed and possibly you can discuss this with each other. as far as your needs, don’t ignore them! they don’t go away. I would consider an open relationship yes. better to be honest than “cheat” sadly most “mono” relationships are actually “open” without the communication. sad but true.

    [0]
  20. I don’t think you sound vain. Being too big is a bummer! Almost like he’s given up! And that’s not attractive! It really isn’t! Must be so frustrating! Hugs

    [0]
  21. Cari Sware Cari Sware says:

    What happens when he finds someone for his side of the open relationship and she’s fully willing to accept him as he is? If he’s the wonderful man you claim he is, another woman is likely to see that and fall in love with him no matter his size. And if he’s being encourage to look for someone outside the relationship, he may fall in love right back.

    [0]
  22. Tracy Ache Tracy Ache says:

    Moaning and bitching about weight kind of kills the sex drive…he probably feels bad enough about himself without your help. Maybe lift him up instead of pushing him down. He will feel better about himself and as a result feel more attractive and active.

    [0]
  23. Shout out Edmonton rebrands to Springer Edmonton. Does Jerry get credit? lol

    [0]
  24. I am not judging you what so ever. I would just say, that you need to communicate that this is the point where you are at. Sometimes being as direct and honest is the best way. The two options are really either marriage counselling (to work on the whatever issue is going on that’s made him lose all momentum) or you want to try an open relationship.
    Honestly is the best policy. And I’m sorry that you are going through this.

    [0]
  25. Sounds like your turned off by more than his weight! Which to me sounds far more normal. Perhaps he is just not the person that’s right for you any more? If he’s lazy and you’re not. If he is depressed and you’re not. If he is unmotivated and you’re not…. These could be deal breakers. The weight doesn’t really sound like the issue. If you feel like his mother than there is nothing more unattractive than that!

    [0]
  26. Any one else sick of these posts??? Accept him for who he is or move on and let him find someone else. Simple.

    [0]
  27. Rob McBain Rob McBain says:

    Going gets tough women get going

    [0]

Join the Discussion!