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Separation advice needed

I am separating from my common law. We have children, I own the house. The issue is drugs.

I wish so badly I could make this work, but he has been a drug user for over 20 years and is absolutely clueless as to how it affects him mentally, and plainly does not wish to quit, despite the times I belived he had. (This isn’t pot btw, cocaine)

So I am done. I want a drama free drug free home.

He says he will leave for $40,000 so he can buy his own place. I don’t have 40k lol. I don’t know if I can get 40k. I will barley be able to make ends meet when he is gone. Belive me I did it and it’s slim, my mortgage is a monster.

What are my legal options? How does this work? Where do I go?

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Help.

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47 Responses

  1. Tam L Dack Tam L Dack says:

    If ur mortgaging n u have equity call Alpine credits they can do a home equity loan..

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  2. Kait Priest Kait Priest says:

    Consult a lawyer. Common law property laws are different than marriage property laws.

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  3. Win Chan Win Chan says:

    Talking to a good lawyer is best as he/she will have more information than here. If the home is under just your name though, it stays with you. It’s called a “relationship of interdependence” where your debts and finances actually remain separate, unless you both contributed and it can be proven.

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  4. I believe that legally he might be entitled to half the house if you have been living common law for more than a year. That sucks.. but if roles were reversed and you were a guy kicking out his wife everyone on here would be calling you names. So… hopefully he won’t realize that and $40,000 is less than that. Sell the house, move into a smaller place with a lower mortgage, or see if you can rent part of house out.. your mortgage should always be cheaper than it costs to rent something. Tell him since you are keeping the house you will pay him $500 a month (or some amount) for 5 years.. or whatever.. or tell him he can live there (in a different part of the house) and pay rent – ideally work it out between yourselves before getting a lawyer… but do get things in writing and both sign in front of a legal entity (notary).

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    • Sassie Brit Sassie Brit says:

      Wrong. I suggest you speak to a lawyer in this situation. Don’t believe people’s advice on Facebook. Please!

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    • The supreme court ruled on this common law issue years ago. They said in short “shoulda put a ring on it.” Kick him out he’s not entitled to anything unless his name is on the mortgage at which he’s entitled to half what the house is worth, including half the payments owed. Of course that doesn’t include his rights as a father to common children. See a lawyer.

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    • Felicia Rene Felicia Rene says:

      Sorry, worst advice and incorrect.

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    • Win Chan Win Chan says:

      Yep basically what the others said above me. He doesn’t have a right to his 40K he wants unless he bought the house with you and he’s on the title. It’s not like other provinces’ common law here where he would have a right to half of the appreciation of the home.

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    • Kim Schindel Kim Schindel says:

      He has a right to half the equity built up on the house while he resided as your common law husband. If you owned the house when he moved in he is only entitled to half of what was paid down on the mortgage during the time he was living there.

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    • Mary Maria Mary Maria says:

      Wrong. He isn’t entitled to anything, except items of value that were purchased together. So say you bought a camper together, them it’d be sold and the money is spilt. As far as mortgage without his name on it, nope. Car he drives that’s in your name, nope again. Only thing he’s entitled to is his pay and savings. And material possessions that he paid for or went 50/50 on. I seen a lawyer not too long ago for the same thing, except no drugs. People assume because you’re common law, it’s automatically “ours”. Couldn’t be more false. Also, asking for 40k to move is called blackmail. If you want him gone from your house that you pay for, he has to go, being forced into paying money is extortion .

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    • You are partially right Mary. If he was paying towards the mortgage he may be entitled to something. It depends if what he paid was equivalent to what he might have paid in rent over that time.

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    • In Alberta, they do it a little bit different. Adult interdependent living is how Alberta looks at it and it has to be 3 years. I found this out from a lawyer.

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  5. You can have your kids taken away for drugs in the house. You don’t have to pay him squat in that situation

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  6. Jill Turner Jill Turner says:

    Go talk with a good lawyer and they will let you know right away what your options are. seeing as you have kids together and you aren’t using coke im sure the house will be with you and the kids, they aren’t going to disrupt your children because he has drug issues and you definitely won’t have to pay him 40k for it.

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  7. Get a good lawyer.

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  8. call legal aid: 1.866.845.3425

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  9. Felicia Rene Felicia Rene says:

    You need to speak to a lawyer stat. Know your rights. Common law is not the same as marriage in Canada and legal rights are different.

    I assume from experience if drugs are involved there is debt as well. Try and log everything. If he’s trying for half or a payout he’s also liable for half the debt too.

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  10. I hope the guy gets everything and you have to pay him alimony and child support. That would be equality.

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  11. No offense and not to kick up shit, but in my opinion if you’re only just fed up with a coke habit after 20 years, you’re probably part of the problem… but if you want actual advice, all you can do if you wanna separate is get a good lawyer and do what you can to protect yourself and your kids legally.

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  12. Pack up your stuff and leave even if if you have to leave the house, for a while. Taking a loss in this situation is Probabley for the best

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  13. He will have to pay you… kick him out

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  14. Leanne Mckay Leanne Mckay says:

    Talk to a lawyer. I wouldn’t give him $40k without documentation that will hold up in court. A cocaine addict will probably snort the majority of that and he would still be in your house. Bound him by law that he is settling for $40k and will not ask for more….. Talk to a few lawyers. Go to the bank and get a loan to pay both him and a good lawyer. Get yourself out of this as clean as you can.

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  15. There is no law in Alberta that makes common law couples divide property like married people do.

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  16. See a lawyer.. especially with children involved

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  17. Kristy Hedin Kristy Hedin says:

    Legal aid lawyers are shit – you can file the paperwork yourself . Yes talk to as many lawyers opinions FOR FREE FIRST! DO NOT GIVE Lawyers money right away! Waste of $ . If there is drugs involved , GET YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM THAT! Or him gone !!!! Fcss will intervene – and oh boy is that hell ! Sounds like i know what im talking about eh? Ya been there – message me if u wanna talk

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  18. If he ends up with partial custody you may need to pay some child support, and adult interdependency payments…you knew he did drugs for 20 years, weather you were together that long or less time you chose to bring kids into it. You are as bad as he is. Besides if you overextended yourself financially you may want to downsize the house into something more fiscally responsible before you lose completely to creditors

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  19. You have access to 3 different lawyers…1/2 hr each ….. pro Bono. ( be prepared before hand so you get good use out of this time) . …call 211 to inquire about contact info. Good luck.

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  20. Check the Matrimonial Property Act, I don’t think you owe him half the house if he is not on title and only common law.

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  21. This is why you do your research, get legal advice and all your ducks in a row BEFORE you tell him it’s over.

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  22. Carrie Brown Carrie Brown says:

    This sounds like my ex ahahhahahah

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  23. Comon law is everything you acquired after he moved in. If house was yours before it remains yours.
    Next time he is using illegal drugs call the police and have him removed. Keep doing it everytime he brings drugs in your home. He may think he is entitled to your home but he can’t do drugs in it.

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  24. Lara Clement Lara Clement says:

    Go see a lawyer right away and get an interim order for child and spousal support and have him removed from the house. The assets will be dealt with at the time of the actual divorce and your lawyer can give you all the advice you need. It will be hard but worth it for your kids.

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