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Single at 40

Just got out of a long term relationship and a little terrified! I’m 40 and female.

One of the reasons I stayed in the relationship so long is that I was scared to leave because of the fear of dating again in my 40s! I’ve heard horror stories and to be honest, I’m not looking forward to getting out there again at this point in my life.

I’m just hoping there are guys out there like me who haven’t picked the right person yet and are hoping to finally make the right choice with someone.

Anyone else in the same boat? Thoughts?

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50 Responses

  1. Ugh, get a battery operated buddy!!

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  2. There are horror stories from dating at any age unfortunately. Im 30 and ive been separated almost 3 years and i finally opened myself up to someone ive known for half my life and got burnt. If someone i know can reject me like that, i cant imagine a stranger.
    You just need to try, and you need to have a thick skin. Because the truth of it is, there are tons of people who wont find you ideal, but there is also tons of people you wont find ideal either.
    Just take risks. Life is too short not to.

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  3. I am 34 that just got out a marriage after 15 years together and I hear you. It’s scary but there seems to be a type for everyone!

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  4. I left my marriage at 38 and met an amazing new guy – 6 years younger, never married. He just hadn’t found the right person yet.

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  5. Tricia Lyn Tricia Lyn says:

    Stay single for awhile, enjoy it lol

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  6. I’m 43. Single for 3 years now. Dating is HARD! I mean even just finding decent men (in my case).

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  7. Penny Miller Penny Miller says:

    Tbere is alot of advice on youtube to help you start over again. Found it very helpful, now with an awesome man.

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  8. Tim Jacklin Tim Jacklin says:

    Ah poop. Ya win some. Ya lose some. As my momma used to say to my sis , men are like buses. Wait a bit there will be another along soon enough …. Then of course there is always Tim’s free revenge sex service . lol

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  9. Lots of people your age are still single!!

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  10. I found myself single at 36 and enjoyed discovering myself and how to be content alone.
    It took a few years and moving 7000km from Edmonton for me to figure out how to be a good partner in a relationship.
    Herzliche Glück aus der Schweitz

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  11. Adam Dee Adam Dee says:

    I’m almost 30 and i feel the same way.

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  12. Trish Down Trish Down says:

    Here’s the best advice I can give you…don’t go out there looking to replace the partner…that’s usually a BIG mistake. Know that you don’t need a spouse to be complete. Find yourself and your identity without a significant other…then, and only then will you find the right person to give your time to. Obviously you aren’t ready if you feel such insecurity about dating. Take some time to define yourself by yourself first. You might find you’re happier alone.

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  13. I’m 55 and finding the right woman is getting hard due to being played by a couple of woman.

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  14. I would stay single till you know you’re happy being alone and don’t need a partner

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  15. Yvette Bacha Yvette Bacha says:

    Lol, your making 40 sound like 90! And a woman! Best time to be one given our past limitations. Enjoy yourself, your freedom and what YOU want first, before you worry about dating. Work on your confidence and being happy with yourself on your own. The right guy will come along and if your mind is at peace with knowing yourself and what you want, its easy to weed out the twerps!

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  16. Get out and enjoy life !! Don’t stress about that. It will happen when it’s time !

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  17. You have a very low percent chance that anyone will want you. Like very close to zero. The first thing I would do if I were in your position would be to identify and catalog all of my standards, and then get rid of every one of them.

    I’m guessing you’ve had a lot (more than one) of sexual partners. Yeah, it doesn’t look good.

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  18. I met my forever and ever person at 38. Been together for 11 years now..:) Met on Plenty of Fish so it can definitely happen at your age!!

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  19. Angele Hisko Angele Hisko says:

    Nothing wrong with just being single, happy and uncomplicated. Trust me.

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  20. There are horror stories for every age. Best advice is to join groups do things you love and at some point you ll find a like minded individual who is also single. There are a ton of single men I’m sure that just want
    The same as you

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  21. Don’t make your age an issue. Be yourself and see who’s out there for you. My wife’s grandfather got married again in his 80’s. There is someone out there look g for someone like you to enjoy life with.

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  22. Cee Dee Hawn Cee Dee Hawn says:

    Enjoy being single!!
    I’ve never been happier than I am now. Dating doesn’t look like nearly as much fun.

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  23. My mom left dad after 20 years of marriage and was 40. She had invitations for dates almost immediately from a complex she moved into, from men she met at her church and dog park. She has now been happy with my step dad for almost 25 years. It will happen, just don’t come across as desperate trying to meet someone

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  24. ahh 40, wonderful year, have fun, and dont settle thinking you wont get any chances! Go to places that you have interest in, you will find the one.

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  25. You don’t need a man to make you happy or feel fulfilled. I’ve sworn off of men and glad to be done with all the drama and heartbreak

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  26. Laura Love Laura Love says:

    You need to take some time to figure out who you are. The fact that you stayed out of fear possibly means you will date someone out of that same fear of being alone. Go out in groups. Go out with your friends Don’t place too much pressure on yourself.

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  27. Tara Boucher Tara Boucher says:

    Dating in the age of online dating is tricky but being single can be fun! Embrace it and find happiness on your own. For me single at 40 has been a great time to figure myself out. I have my family sorted, my career taking off and I’m way more ready to discover what I truly want. Look at it like an awesome opportunity for personal growth. Best wishes!

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  28. Dean Klassen Dean Klassen says:

    Recently lost my wife due to cancer. I can’t imagine being with anyone else. I have no problem being single.

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  29. If you just go out, without much expectation, you won’t be too disappointed. Age doesn’t matter, dating is dating. Don’t be too focused, just have fun. Enjoy meeting new people and enjoy getting to have a ‘first kiss’ again. There’s someone for everyone. In time you will find someone you like to hang out with.

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  30. It’s shitty been trying for years too find the right 1 if I ever do find 1 that’s good well she’s mine but till then I’m still looking there out there but where I don’t know

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  31. Tamara Liam Tamara Liam says:

    Life is not all about guys and dating, just saying.

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  32. Bill Howatt Bill Howatt says:

    Same boat, I just have refused to settle for any of the assholes I’ve dated over the course of the horror story I call my dating life. Yes, women can be assholes too! You don’t NEED anyone other than family and friends. A partner would be great, but given the choice between one that you’re putting up with and one that you want to be with, I’ll just wait for the right one to come along, or not..

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  33. Leanne Hamp Leanne Hamp says:

    It’s time to find out who you are without any attachments… you didn’t mention if you were single, or a single parent.

    If it’s the former, have fun! Change your career, change your address, change your image, try a few things, including a weekend or vacation you could never take. You only have to answer to you – there is no better time to look in the mirror and discover who the beautiful woman in front of you truly is and can be.

    If you have kids, do the same, but risks (around career and relocation) are just a little harder when young people are still needing your support. Enjoy op. This is the best thing that could happen!

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