Suggestions on family situation

Id like to hear some opinions from the other side. Im a parent to two children ages 5 and 6. My oldest having special needs, she has the understanding of a 2 year old.

She is violent towards her younger sibling and constantly destroys her toys and art work, and everything else you can think of. the younger sibling is scared of the older sibling. She gets scared when she comes home from school and hides. She cant eat a nornal meal unless i hold the older sibling, because she will harass her. The older sibling will wake up at night multiple times and go into the younger siblings room and turn the lights off and on. she basically constantly harasses and abuses her younger sibling.

my thought is that my husband and i should split up and each of us takes a child, because i dont want my youngest to be afraid to be home, afraid to sleep, afraid to do anything. weekend visits with her sibling i think will result in a better relationship between them.

I told this to her pscyhologist, and she looked at me like i had feces on my face, she was absolutly disgusted that i would even suggest that.

Maybe im crazy? But when a child is scared to come home because of a parent, or gets hit by a parent etc, thats abuse and a toxic environment. that child shouldn’t be going through that. A child shouldn’t have to worry about adult things, theyre just suppose to be, well, a child and worry about kid things. a professional will quickly agree that the child should be seperated from that parent.


Is my intention wrong? I feel im trying to save my younger child from being abused and scared. As hard as it is, im trying to protect her and help her. i dont ever want her to be scared at home or stay under her bed or in the closet to play with her toys because shes scared of her sibling. Saving her from being abused by her sibling is somehow frowned upon.

What are your thoughts? Am i being unreasonable? Or are my concerns understandable?  Please no rude comments. I keep hearing that i shouldnt be splitting up my family, and yes i already feel bad and cry about my kids everyday because i dont know what to do. One is scared and abused, the other will need long term care.

Im trying to think realistically, what will be the best enviroment for my kids to grow up in. A safe, relaxed enviroment where they can thrive.   Thanks for listening



Join the Discussion!