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Suicidal when nothing’s really gone wrong In life

Maybe two years ago I was ready to jump off a crane and end it. For about a month there was new construction in my area. I saw this tall crane and said to myself if I was going to end it that’s where I’d go month after that after drinking and doing **** I decided this was the night.

I went to the top of that crane stood on the edge and couldn’t jump. Thought of the family of people I would hurt and couldn’t go threw with it. Honestly it made me feel like more of a failure. I left messages at my house my family found out I went to the sic ward. Bull shitted the staff saying it was the alcohol. They said I was lucky my heart didn’t stop.

A couple years late I’m planning on getting drunk when it’s cold and “falling asleep in the snow”I know this would devastate my family. But I’m so broken inside. I’ll be good for a few months happy nothing wrong then I go into a deep depression slowly.

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32 Responses

  1. Nothing has to necessarily cause depression, you didn’t ask for a chemical imbalance. Your family would be devastated. Seek help, go to your doctor and get into therapy asap. If you ever just need someone to talk to, I am here. It gets better!

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  2. Send me a picture, let’s go for coffee

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  3. Please don’t do this. Please see a Dr & seek help to treat your depression. You are loved & here for a reason. There is so much help available for you.

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  4. Go speak to a professional at momentum walk in clinic. They won’t turn anyone away based on financial situations. Please reconsider. Your life matters, YOU matter.

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  5. Lisa Hoff Lisa Hoff says:

    Please call 780-342-7777. Broken can be fixed, sometimes it’s just hard to figure out how all the pieces fit back together. There are people who can help you do that ❤️

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  6. I understand how you feel. I deal with this struggle as well but with therapy, and working on mindfulness and trying to meditate I’m starting to be able to get out of these ruts easier. It gets to a point where I feel like something is missing when I don’t have the suicidal ideation. But you can learn to manage it and not actually intend to go through with it. If you need to chat feel free to PM me. You can get through this, I promise.

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  7. Please talk to someone. Remember you are not alone.

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  8. Ryan Matties Ryan Matties says:

    Talk to someone about it, honestly!

    I promise you won’t regret it.

    Stay strong yoooo, suicide is not the answer.

    Getting help is!

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  9. I’m in the same boat as you!! There is help.. pills, counselling, what ever you need!! Be honest about it!! That’s how you’ll get help!! There’s no shame in getting help!! Sure people might talk but are those really the people you want to surround yourself with anyways!! Feel free to pm me.. honestly I can be an ear to listen and won’t judge!! I also can reccomended some counsellors that are free for you!!

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  10. Pat Scott Pat Scott says:

    Talk to someone reach out don’t do this to the people you love our family recently went thru this and it’s devastating to those left behind broken can be fixed thoughts and prayers go out to you be strong

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  11. I know many people that took this way out .. mothers , fathers , friends etc ..talking to people dosent always work nor can therapist or doctors help with sometimes major situations so I wouldnt bother with that , but talking with friends or family may help and there may be other solutions pending whats going on in your life making you feel this way .

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  12. Tre Hack Tre Hack says:

    I’ve battled addiction, depression and anxiety since my early 20’s, walked to the middle of a bridge in BC to end it years ago. Same thoughts crossed my mind, how I’d hurt my family, friends etc. I remember feeling like a coward at the time for not going through with it…years later i realized how much strength it took to walk away. There is help out there, feel free to pm me if you want to chat. You don’t need to walk this road alone!

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  13. God loves you! your family love you!Jesus through his words and spirit can heal you! Iam praying that someone can reach you! Contact the Promise Land Ministry 12145-67st.780-944-0526.

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  14. There are suicide spirits you can tell when they move through an area two or three different cases in the same area. Call on Jesus he’s the answer to it all.

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  15. Dave Valente Dave Valente says:

    It’s not cold enough right now anyway. Wait a month

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  16. Mary Hopper Mary Hopper says:

    I too have been down that road. where I thought it would be easier too die. Luckily I have good friend to talk me out of it. I know another hard step is reaching out.

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  17. I’ve been where you are. I think the first step in getting better is realizing that you can get better. I know it’s been a long exhausting journey and it doesn’t seem that way now, but you can. If you aren’t on antidepressants talk to a doctor. If you are, talk to a doctor about finding something else that may work better. And the U of A has a free drop in psych clinic.

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  18. Trina Griep Trina Griep says:

    Please call 911 now. You’re in a life threatening situation. They will be able to help you immediately.

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  19. Sara Curd Sara Curd says:

    Have u tried medical marijuana its saved my life sativa helps the most

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  20. Oh my gosh. I’m sorry you feel so much sadness. Do you know that a whole bunch of people love you. You are a precious person. If you leave this earth there will be so much sadness from your friends and family. They want you here.Things get tough but remember a lot of people care for you and would not want you to do what you are thinking now. Talk to someone. Sing, paint, draw,go for a run. Get the sadness out. ICARE!

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  21. This is more common then you think. I’m sure it’s been said but maybe seek some help. Wishing you all the best !

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  22. Tyler Seguin Tyler Seguin says:

    Suicide is no joke you should definitely talk to someone. Also that plan wouldn’t work because we don’t have any snow.

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  23. Marie says:

    Bouts of depression … sounds like you may be bi-polar. It’s been said that at least 30% of the population suffers from depression in one form or another. It wouldn’t surprise me if the numbers are up.
    Go see your doctor. Hopefully you have a good doctor. There are meds that can help. Anyone suffering from depression should never feel ashamed nor be afraid to talk with someone about it – talk to your doc. Look after yourself.

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  24. One day, mental health will be seen as a priority. They’ll have to

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  25. Matthew 11:28-30 (28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”)

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  26. There are lots of good therapists out there that are free. Get some help or at least find someone to talk to that no matter what you say, they don’t judge you! Depression is so difficult to go threw when being or feeling alone!

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  27. Tim Jacklin Tim Jacklin says:

    ” i don’t care” is often the most prevalent thought you have to battle with other more powerful thoughts. When it came right down to it on top of the crane you saved your life because you did care . Be careful , full of care for those you love and those who love you. Then of course there is the love of ppl (both ways) you havnt yet encountered. Hang in there . Things always change. You will have some days which are better than other days. If you think you can benefit from professionals in mental health you can. This subject of depression has been at the forefront of clinical studies and treatments quite a long time . A lot of things have been learned , so why not take advantage of whatever may help you care for yourself better. Peace.

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