Suicidal when nothing’s really gone wrong In life
Maybe two years ago I was ready to jump off a crane and end it. For about a month there was new construction in my area. I saw this tall crane and said to myself if I was going to end it that’s where I’d go month after that after drinking and doing **** I decided this was the night.
I went to the top of that crane stood on the edge and couldn’t jump. Thought of the family of people I would hurt and couldn’t go threw with it. Honestly it made me feel like more of a failure. I left messages at my house my family found out I went to the sic ward. Bull shitted the staff saying it was the alcohol. They said I was lucky my heart didn’t stop.
A couple years late I’m planning on getting drunk when it’s cold and “falling asleep in the snow”I know this would devastate my family. But I’m so broken inside. I’ll be good for a few months happy nothing wrong then I go into a deep depression slowly.