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Lately my mental health has been shit. I cry all the time and I have no desire to see my child from my marriage that dissolved early this past year. I’m living with my parents for the first time in years and i’m having a hard time adjusting….

With the mental health stuff associated with feeling like a failure I feel my child is better off without me. Maybe even forever, my ex has been more than willing to help me see our child, I just really don’t want to.

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22 Responses

  1. Vanessa Van Vanessa Van says:

    Perhaps try Pilgrims Hospice for grieving Counselling and it is free.

  2. Your child will Always need you. Period. Abandoned they still always Need you. So get the help and just don’t do that to them.They also need you to be okay. Utilize the mental health help available here. See a therapist find what works for you. Talk to your gp get the referral get help.

  3. John Korpan John Korpan says:

    What is the saying, “It’s always darkest before the dawn”…the strength is inside you. “time does heal” but it takes time, laughing Buddhai and myself (joking) just laugh because we are “nuts” one way or another. Hardest is to have someone to talk to…and express you anger and love.

  4. Man up or woman up, that child chose you as a parent. Didnt choose you to mess up your life. Chose you because there was something good in you.

  5. I have compassion for your mental health issues but parenting isn’t a hobby. Each parent needs to do their half of the work. While you suffer your child still needs food, clothes, their teeth brushed, affection etc.
    Putting all that work on your ex is incredibly selfish. Abandoning your child emotionally is going to scar them. Please get help.

  6. I have been there and am still going through so much of what you are OP. I was 24 when I had my first and was in my situation for 5 yrs before leaving. But this year I began mental health councilling and treatment for It all. It took over 4 years after my separation to finally say… but what about the me in all of this… but as soon as I did things began to fall into place. Don’t be afraid to see your child but also, please go easy on yourself for not being ready to see them right now, only you can know what you need. Please go find someone to talk to (a professional) if you can… help is out there… I was too scared to find help for so many years but it is there for you. I wish you the best in life for yourself and your child.

  7. I fear what this will do to your child. Do you know how it feels to be unwanted by your parent? It’s not a good feeling and has a huge impact on your child’s mental health and self worth. You can’t just up and decide I don’t wanna see my kids. They didn’t bring themselves here you did. I understand what you’re going through. I left after 17 yrs…. it’s hard I get it….. but I never stopped being a mom. Don’t do this to your kid. You’re hurting them

  8. Alice Styles Alice Styles says:

    Just something to consider, while i under stand where your coming from think about your ex also. She’s watching that child on her own and im sure she is hurting also but has no choice but to get up and care for the little every day. Put a bit of effort in to help her make it easier

  9. First of all I want to tell you that you are incredibly strong. Don’t let temporary situations make you feel like you’ve had set backs. I have been in your situation before and having to move home with a very colic baby as a single mom (that was 20yrs ago) it was soooo hard moving home to my mothers. BUT, the help was needed. So just try to find the positive with having the support, I know it can be difficult. It’s ok to have help and it’s ok to not do it ALL on your own.
    Remember, your thoughts can be irrational given the mental health matter. Your child DOES need you. I cannot stress that enough. Just exist and be there please ❤️ while doing that focus on self care and get your thinking more clear. Get some help, you need it, heck we all need it. Work on yourself to get better because I promise you that WANT and NEED to see and be with your child is there and will be there. Please seek help. You’re not alone.
    I wish you happiness and love. You’re so lucky to have your family. You CAN do this.

  10. Nothing cheers me up more than my kids walking up to me and hugging me tight. Spend time with your kid man. It’s the best company you can have.

  11. Stacy Cripps Stacy Cripps says:

    Get help. See your doctor, call the distress line, anything. Your child still needs you.

  12. cocaine and whiskey , works every time

  13. Noura Yaghi Noura Yaghi says:

    Call access 24/7 right now 7804242424

  14. Such a difficult situation, at times I feel disconnected and angry at the breakdown in my relationship with my childrens dad. Ups and downs but unfortunately my kids have to watch and be around all my emotions as their Dad is not capable of parenting day to day at all. Its not easy to carry it all because I need to breakdown and cry but I cant. If you are fortunate enough to have an ex that can manage the parenting duties while you find yourself be grateful. Seek medical help, maintain a relationship with your child somehow, even if its just a phone call. This will all pass and you will appreciate the man you have become even if you needed to step out for a little bit.

  15. Tim Jacklin Tim Jacklin says:

    Adam Tsarcasm says it best.

  16. First step is admitting you’re not ok! Everyone is allowed to have days where they aren’t alright and that’s ok! You’ve made the first step by acknowledging you aren’t alright and that something needs to change. Children are amazing and will love you no matter what, maybe being around your child more will give you the push to seek the help you need.. I’m sorry you’re struggling. Mental health is hard but it seems like you’re very aware of how you’re feeling and I’m sure with the right tools you’ll be successful in feeling happy again.

  17. Please talk to your doctor or a therapist it will help alot, so many suffer with some sort of mental distress your not alone and dont beat yourself up.

  18. I hope you reach out for help. Start with your family doctor.

  19. Kim Downs Kim Downs says:

    There are amazing programs at Alberta hospital .. also medication has greatly helped many people

  20. OP this was literally me five years ago. Literally same situation. Divorced. Young kid. Felt a disconnect. Had to move home. Felt for a long time my life wouldn’t be worth anything to my daughter.

    This is where I tell people my journey changed. One day, I finally realized the reason I felt that way is because I gained all my value from my relationship. I was 26 and didn’t have anything for myself. So I spend the last 5 years finding myself. Finding my career. Finding my personal interests again. Discovered who i was.

    My suggestion: Use this time to fall in love with YOU again. Make YOU your first priority. Because once you start loving yourself again you’ll see your value and you’ll realize that you are worth having around. That your kid WILL benefit from having you around. I look at myself 5 years ago and I would have been ashamed to let my daughter idolize who I was. But now, 5 years later, I feel like I’m someone I’d want my daughter to look up to now.

    And was it easy? Fuck no. I had breakdowns every day for the longest time. But then it was once every other day. Then once a week. The once a month. And now I can’t even remember the last time i had one.

    You’ll get there OP. It’s a journey of 10,000 steps but it begins when you take the first one. If you ever wanna pop into my DM we could chat privately if you ever want to. If not, best of luck!

  21. Not even sure what to say, that’s sad as hell

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