Has anyone ever felt truly down for no reason?
I am normally a very positive person. Sometimes oddly too much so. I definitely don’t have a perfect life but I try to find the good and focus on that.
Normally I have winter break off and I spend time with my husband and children. Then I return to work with so much energy.
But this year I started work Jan 3 and it is an extreme push to get myself out of bed every morning. I have no energy at all. I even find I have low mood, I don’t want to leave home, I dread leaving. I am holding it in trying not to snap at my colleages, my family but it is so hard.
I am trying to figure out why and I have no clue.
I did see someone. She said try to have time for yourself. By the way I asked my husband to come with me so he would know how I feel. He is very understanding but I think he is getting frustrated because he doesn’t know what to do to “cheer me up” as he calls it.
After kids go to bed, he gives me at least an hour to have my time. I tried long bath, reading, even learning new things to give myself interest or motivation for something new and interesting. My husband even tried suggesting I buy something for myself like retail therapy. That’s not my thing plus we are low income. I got myself a nice body butter on sale but after I opened it, I couldn’t care less. I typically look forward to a long shower and some nice lotion but I really didn’t care. I just push myself because I can’t go to work with greasy hair or smelly body.
I help my kids with homework and try not to snap because I dread it.
Biggest thing is I have cooked half of when I usually do. My husband made dinner yesterday because I was pushing myself and still burned things so he helped. I don’t have an apetite either but again I push myself because we eat as a family.
I recently saw my doctor. My hormones, thyroid, vitamin levels haven’t changed. I am normally eating pretty healthy. I normally work out. I have never had such depressive feeling in my life. Yet I can’t figure out what made me suddenly feel that way. Winter blues? Yes I do see a therapist though I can only afford once a month at most and she said many people get winter blues. Except I never had them in my 40 years before. Every suggestion she had like alone time, family time, new hobby – not working.
I can’t take medication for reasons I won’t mention here except that I am not against antidepressants or any medical needs if needed but I am not able to have antidepressants because of a medical issue.
I need ideas to get out of that funk.
I am off today and I am sitting in my closet playing bejeweled game while waiting for laundry because I just don’t want to bother leaving home. Pathetic?