You are NOT a single mom!

I am sick and tired of women with husband who have full time work calling themselves “single moms” because your husband is gone for 1-3 weeks at a time on the oil sands.

A SINGLE parent means there is only one of you. EVER. you don’t have someone one week a month to take the kids for a bit. You don’t have a second income to pay for your lifestyle. You don’t have a partner to talk to a night before bed.

You are 100% responsible for all the income in the house
ALL the cleaning
ALL the cooking
ALL the errands
ALL the PTA meetings
ALL the sick nights.

You have a partner that helps you roughly one week a months you have financial security.


You are a married woman who’s partner is busting his balls to keep a roof over his families head. Welcome to adulting. Deal with it. Stop whining because your spouse actually has work and be frigging grateful you have a spouse at all. Some of our spouses are dead, or deadbeat dad’s.



105 Responses

  1. Or you could just be sensitive to the fact that all mothers-actually all parents struggle from time to time and maybe she’s been used to having help from her husband and now he’s gone to work and she’s left trying to figure it out. I was a single mom right from the start so I didn’t have someone to rely on so I imagine it would still be tough to have those extra hands and then have them leave. Why not just not focus on the fact that they’re calling themselves a single parent and organize a play date instead? Show up at her house with a coffee and you non-judgy panties on. Take her kids for an afternoon, or just call her and ask if things are ok. Sure you don’t have the husband out making your money so there’s a tougher aspect to being an “actual” single mom but don’t discredit the women who are left doing it all on their own. These ones face enough criticism when they try to get a minute to themselves… “you’re a stay at home mom why is your kid in daycare twice a week?” Or “you’re a stay at home mom stop complaining some of us aren’t so lucky”. You see? Everyone is dealing with shit. Just be kind.

    • Bren Kambo Bren Kambo says:

      Candice Rochelle Candice Rochelle yes it’s tough on anyone being an individual parent whether the hubby or wife is coming and going months and or years on end, has to work away from home and or as you said being a parent individually on your own after having support and companionship from a spouse that is no longer ……the financials, running kids here there everywhere, finding ways to pick up the slack that 2 use to do and share as a load together is tough……….this can apply to either a female or male that’s now individual……I’ve helped families in this situation and I also work in the employment sector where I see loads of individual parents struggling and trying to find their way ……..some are extremely severe (without food, monies period) ……….I see the kids of these families daily and that is even tougher as they are hungry, have been without food for days and so on……please note that as a struggling ibdividual parent one can also check with your child’s school as there are many wonderful resources and organizations that can also help you as an individual struggling parent ………
      remember there’s the food bank programs and resources like that and that can help a bit also …………

  2. This is from someone who had a single mom and also had a husband who worked out of times for 2-6 weeks at a time. This woman is absolutely right in the fact that financially, mentally, emotionally, physically more demanding on your own. I watched my mom do it every single day until i was out on my own. I feel for anyone who has had to do this.

    I will however say although I have never said im a single mom, it is really hard to have a spouse out of town… theres a strain on a relationship along with the fact that you are still doing things at the home by yourself. Its a struggle still. But a different one.

    Props to all the single moms!

  3. When I’m really fully responsible for
    All cleaning
    All the cooking
    All the errands
    All the PTA meetings
    All the sick nights
    Then I’m a 100% single mom even if he gives me some extra dollars. Unfortunately, without his job we still can get child support+ daycare let those men appreciate what they have and stop whining

  4. What I believe is moms are superhero’s and we should be sticking together and empowering women instead of cutting them down. Labels are not always helpful

  5. There is a difference between being a single mom and a mom that is single. But stress is stress is stress. Doesn’t matter if he’s gone 3 wks out of a month. It’s still hard! I’ve been a single mom, I’ve also had the spouse! ITS NEVER EASY!!! So just stop it!!! KIDS MAKE US INSANE WITH OR WITHOUT A SPOUSE!

  6. So if I’ve been single for 10 years, but do get child support and my son goes to his dads about 2-3 nights a month, does that make me not a single mom?

  7. As a woman who was a single mother to two babies for 5 years, and now has a husband who is home only 6 days a month, I understand where you are coming from but I also have to disagree. My husband is home every other weekend. I still deal with all my kids school stuff, their lessons, most illness, doctor and dentist appointments, vet appointments for our pets, working and running my business, all the cooking, cleaning and household stuff on my own. Sure, my husband can “help out” the weekends he is home, but i rarely ask much of him since he works out of town omg hours with little time off!!! He takes care of home repairs and stuff, but all that other stuff happens during the week anyway, not on the weekends when he is home. The only difference from when i was a single mom is the financial aspect, which I agree is huge.

  8. “my baby daddy ain’t shit” sounds alot like “I let losers cum in me”

  9. Sorry everyone I have done this both ways and I have to agree with the Poster. My ex was in the military and was gone for long periods of time while I stayed home to raise our 3 children. It was hard but he was just a phone call away and the responsibility for these young life’s did not rest solely on my shoulders. When he left for good (got another military officer pregnant) the total emotional and financial responsibility for these 3 children became mine. That was even harder as I had no back-up, I was on 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I had to work and raise these kids, I had no one to be my back-up, no one to help with the stress. So while having a husband who is away for 2 or 3 weeks is hard, having no husband is even harder.

    • Victoria Janice Kellett
      I think you raise a really good point about your spouse being a phone call away as opposed to not having that shoulder to lean on or having someone to have discussions with about the children or making tough decisions, etc. I would not for a second say that having a spouse away working doesn’t come with a huge amount of struggles as well, but I would not refer to them as a “single parent”.

  10. I dont see why it matters. who fucking cares.
    start worrying about your own backyard and stay the fuck away from mine..

    with all this time you have to post this nonsense, youd think youd have time to find a man ..

  11. Am I a single mom if I have help once in a while from a family member for rest, and get no child support LOL this is the dumbest post I have ever read.

  12. If you’re going to say that, maybe moms who chose deadbeats for their kid’s dad’s shouldn’t have kids 🙂

    Pretty stupid assessment id say lmao

  13. Been in both situations. They’re both really really hard and I don’t nit pick people’s wording.

  14. Wimps who post anonymously are scared little boys or girls or X’s or whatever the hell they call themselves. Can’t muster the courage to put their name to their words.

  15. Terry Calder Terry Calder says:

    Elaine Sparklingeyes maybe these women shouldn’t have kids! Problem solved!

  16. Phil Allard Phil Allard says:

    I am a single full time dad and I find this offensive lol

  17. I sometimes see woman say they are single moms and they have live in boyfriends that aren’t baby daddy . I’m like whattt

  18. This is the dumbest shit I have ever read ! Stop being jealous and trying to compare ffs….
    My husband works in the oilfield and he is gone sometime 50-60 days at a time and guess what ……… for those 50 or 60 days I am a single parent , I do it all myself with my 2 kids just like any other mom does without a spouse around . In fact a lot of “single moms” get more free time cause they get weekends off

    • And I was a “ single mom “ before I got married and it isn’t any easier having the kids alone for 60 days without him home just because I am “ married “

    • And like I said I was a single mom before however I had an amazing career as a surgical assistant for an oral and maxillofacial surgeon and made ALOT of money on my own so because I made good career choices to support my daughter in your eyes if I wasn’t broke it doesn’t count as a single mom ??

    • Alexis Musik Alexis Musik says:

      Krystal Gibbons I was a stay at home mum, my husband owned his own business, so, I can’t answer your question. I just know that you’re high and mighty on your opinions, judging people isn’t cool! Being a single parent is different, I know quite a few single parents out there and they do have good jobs and have made good choices! It is different.

  19. Back in the day…wives whose husbands were away for long periods of time for work or fun…were referred to as a Grass Widow…

  20. Okay missed something here.

    ‘Some of our husbands are deadbeat dads’

    Did you not choose the loser?

  21. Adam Dee Adam Dee says:

    From my experience/knowledge, most of those ladies put that on their profile because they aren’t as alone as you’d think while their husbands are out of town….

  22. Amanda Colp Amanda Colp says:

    I get ur side but I know there r mom who work so hard when they dont have the man with them every night. I’m lucky to have my man who comes homes and helps. But I know moms who dont. They are not single parents but they still work there fucking ass off.

  23. I thought single parent just meant you arent with the baby daddy or mommy?

  24. Been in both situations as a single parent (no help and no financial support) and married to a man that selflessly worked 2 jobs ( 60+ hour work weeks and only time he was home was to sleep). Sorry, but if I am having a conversation and I say, “I am single parenting this week”, I have every right to. If I am doing a job of two parents by myself, by definition, I am single parenting.

    • Tanya Jacques definition says doing it without a partner….so when hes gone for that week say a man hits on you ….do you tell him your single or that u have a partner ??? Just because hes away at work doesnt make u single !!! There for u cant claim your a single parent !!

    • Tanya Jacques definition says doing it without a partner….so when hes gone for that week say a man hits on you ….do you tell him your single or that u have a partner ??? Just because hes away at work doesnt make u single !!! There for u cant claim your a single parent !!

    • Tanya Jacques your partner wasn’t absent!! He was working hard! That’s not the same AT ALL!!!!!!! Smdh!!! I’m not denying it’s hard….. but to compare to an actual single mother who not only parents alone, has to worry financially ALONE TOO!!!! You need to pull your head outta your ass!! You are not a single mom ever until you are one so stop it

    • Natalie A Chesser I didn’t say I am a single parent. I said during the time my spouse is away I am doing the work of a single parent. I was a single parent for about 5 years with my oldest before I met my now husband, so to say I have no clue and to pull my head out of my ass is completely uncalled for. I didn’t say anything negative about anyone else and don’t appreciate your nasty remarks. I HAVE been a single mom, which I stated in my original post. I also said I was “single PARENTING” during the time my husband is gone, NOT that I AM a single parent.

    • Sheila Desjardin what does being hit on and not going for it have anything to do with being a single parent? And as I stated before, I am NOT a single parent NOW, but I HAVE been. I simply said that when my husband is not around for longer periods of time I am “single PARENTING”. Completely different.

  25. Jael Scott … I agree with you 100 %

  26. Oh, I find this post extremely immature. I can’t help but feel that this was posted from someone who has never tried to be a single parent only 2 or 3 weeks out of the month. Kids that start acting out, and act horribly for 3 weeks that dad is gone because they are stressed out. Fathers who bust it so the mom can stay home and raise kids. When those dads do get home, they sleep for 24 hours straight. From there all the family stuff that has been postponed must be done….appointments, school meetings etc. AND kids who demand dad’s full attention now that he is home.
    Many mothers get a full weekend, some get one week on one week off with custody when the other parent takes them. I don’t think its fair that those moms feel what you do for 3 weeks straight with no reprieve, but somehow you justify more credit? My sister is a half time single mom, and she works full time. Manages to run all 3 kids to hockey, hockey and cheer leading tournaments often having to figure out how to have each boy in hockey tournies across the province. She drops into bed exhausted each night, and is up doing it again. I get a little tired of women who need to have a hero medal – or use “Single Mom” as an excuse. If you have a dead beat dad in your life, you continue parenting. Get over it. Welcome to being an adult… with it.

    • Nichole Saskiw it’s still not the same. My mom raised me and my brother without my father in my life. She often worked from 5 am to midnight seven days a week and when she was home she was exhausted so we had roof over our head meaning I didn’t see both sets of parent rarely. While yes it’s hard have the other parent work away from home it’s nowhere near the same as someone being a single parent. My mom never cared for the title but I will say she worked harder then anyone. So no those moms really don’t feel as they don’t have to worry about if they have enough food on the table or they can pay rent next month or which child do they put into sports. Yes it’s hard to be a parent and raise a child but it’s a lot harder on your own.

    • Merissa Stemkowski its called parenting for a reason. 5am to midnight? Hmmm. I have an autistic son. That my norm. My husband can’t be up for that… hes gone at 4:30am-7pm weekly. This poster needs to grow up and stop feeling sorry for herself! There are lots of programs out there, grandparents, aunts, uncle, friends to take kids for sleepovers. If you don’t want to be a parent, don’t have kids.

    • Nichole Saskiw she isnt feeling sorry for herself she pointing out tgat being a “single mom” means you do it ALL alone ALL the time …..if your husband works in the oils sands he pays a hell of alot of the bills in the home if not all……a single mom does that ALONE !!! Of your husband works 14 hr days n comes home n falls into bed … are still not SINGLE !! You may doing alot of the parenting alone but you ARE NOT A SINGLE PARENT !!!

    • Sheila Desjardin maintenance. Enough said. We pay dearly every month to a “single mom”.

    • Nichole Saskiw my mother didn’t get maintenance or child support. She did it all on her own. I would like to see you do that without the help of your husband and tell me it’s the same thing

    • If I needed to, I would. And I would not complain about it, or expect a hero medal. It was my choice to have children. We have life insurance in place for both of us in case, and if we split up, I know he would be a father, and pay support, and take them when he is supposed to. I was careful when I decided to start a family with someone that they would be a good father, and partner. For those in a tough spot, sure I feel for them. At the end, when they have grown children who have been raised well – well WELL done. But in the interim, immature posts such as above that clearly – the poster is only wanting a title – is petty. Any mom who has to raise children all the time, or part time would understand and support each other. Not literally throw a temper tantrum for the “Title” of single parent. God, Grow up!

  27. Tara Boucher Tara Boucher says:

    I’m SO with you on this!!!!!!

  28. Elaine Sparklingeyes and I would never stop him from going to work

  29. So I’m not a single dad because I share custody with my ex? What am I then, a popsicle?

  30. I know your hubby works’re a strong woman!

  31. Steph Jackson I mean, imagine him out there feeling his work is causing his family stress making her feel single family ish..dummy ppl can’t work their feelings out anymore..families breaking up for insecurity

  32. Jael Scott Amen I agree with this 100%

  33. Julia Bryce Julia Bryce says:

    love this post! i work with younger people whom don’t want to take job offers for more money (a lot more) because, lord almighty, they would have to be at work for 6 but be done at 2:30 ! gosh, 45 minute drive ….gosh, won’t see the girlfriend much…guess what…the gf already has hours that you don’t see her, becuase she starts at 10 and is done at 7:30…adk her to take a diff shift (she works in a place that is 24 hrs)… do not use her as an excuse,,,get up, go to work, put in effort…because you sure as hell need something new to make ya happy…sorry, this has been a rant.

    • Becca Dupuis Becca Dupuis says:

      Julia Bryce you know, I would LOVE to take a job and make a lot more money. But I have epilepsy. The type of epilepsy I have is caused by lack of sleep and fatigue so I have seizures. And I have been denied jobs because of this. In a perfect world I would be able to drive that 45 minutes but I can’t. And I would be able to be up REALLY EARLY, but I can’t. I also have a diploma in accounting. And loads of experience in customer service and in the tech industry.

  34. Rye Weskey Rye Weskey says:

    Oops, that’s right, single mom status is reserved for women with poor decision making skills and a unshakeable lust for cock

    • Rye Weskey poor decision making skills??

      Or you’re right. We made the POOR decision in a partner. Thinking they were the right one to have a family with. Women make the tough decision to leave someone that is not right for you for numerous reasons
      Would you rather see a women stay with a man that cheats, lies, is an addict, abusive, etc. Just so there isnt another single mom in the world

      Oh but it’s the unshakable lust for cock. Not wanting to better herself and her kids lives??

      Or maybe there’s single moms because the father has passed away.

      You’re small mind is fucking disgusting. I hope to god you never have a daughter.

    • Rye Weskey Rye Weskey says:

      I think Much Music just found a new main character for their aspiring new reality show “so you want to be a real single mother” or maybe it was “who is the real single mother”, can’t remember, anyway, it sounds like an amazing show about mothers who slept with a guy who couldn’t properly hold his pants up with a belt and had a really cool, totally original tribal tattoo at 16 and had such promising visions of employment in his future as a pot strain tester, but unfortunately the women became pregnant and well, you already know the punchline, coming fall 2019!!

      #muchmusic #newshow

    • Cathy Rogers Cathy Rogers says:

      Barb Haekel I’m so sorry for your loss.

  35. Oh maybe he picked that job to get away from you..ungrateful twat

  36. Vanna Brule Vanna Brule says:

    So you’re not a single mother if your ex takes the kids every weekend or every other week and pays child support?

    • Terry Calder Terry Calder says:

      Vanna Brule no your not a single mom! Your part time!

    • Vanna Brule Vanna Brule says:

      That’s literally one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.

    • Vanna i agree with you. That is the dumbest thing Ive heard. Lol

    • In my mind, anyone who is a mom that has full custody of the children and the father has “visitation” is still a single mom. It doesn’t matter if she is receiving maintenance payments or assistance or whatever financial help she needs or is entitled to. She is still playing both roles more than 75% of the time and is the one dealing with all the major parenting issues. Lessening the primary parent’s parental status just because the father sees them a few days a month is asinine. Now if a couple were separated & the father took the kids full time for two full weeks out of a month and took care of 50% of the childcare expenses, 50% of the diaper changes, sick days, doctor appointments, tantrums, etc and the mother got two full weeks of freedom from them – then you could call her a half time mom because that’s what she’d be. End of.

    • Jamie Orr Jamie Orr says:

      I’m glad someone used the phrase “martyrdom” b/c the victimhood here is amazing.

      It would be interesting how many “single moms” complaining about taking care of kids “75%” of the time FOUGHT to minimize the fathers time with the kids out of anger and vengeance while also FOUGHT for the maximum amount of cash to be squeezed out of him?

    • Vanna Brule Vanna Brule says:

      I think it’s just such a silly thing to pick a fight over. The mommy wars bullshit is just amazing.

      Notice you never see men bitching at each other over whether they can call themselves single parents or one upping about who has it harder? It’s so perplexing.

      I just can’t muster up the emotional energy it takes to give a fuck about who should calls themselves what.

      Go on with your bad selves.

    • Vanna Brule no your a single mom. If you’re split and taking care of your child most of the time you are what is considered a single parent.

    • Wow someones not a single mom if the ex is still in the picture? Are you cracked? Yes they are most definitely single parents.

      Again just like my previous posts we all have our own sort of struggles. Single moms without exes have to take care of everything by themselves. Single moms with an ex may have help financially (sometimes if the man is stand up and actually pays) but they have struggles too such as sometimes watching other women come in the picture trying to play mommy to your kids. Or the fact that alot of the times parents are fighting about who gets what custody and not seeing eye to eye on things, etc.
      And then finally the struggle of moms with spouses that work out of town. Probably the easiest of them all but doesnt mean there isnt struggles in other areas. Jesus as mothers and women we should just all support each other instead of being snots and ignoring the fact that every single person goes through things differently doesnt mean it isnt hard for them at times in one way or another.

      And lets be honest its not really about us is it… its about what all the kids have to go through with each of these different situations. We wouldnt down play poor kids so why do we constantly do it to each other as adults, as moms and a society. Its really ridiculous.

  37. Literally never heard or saw someone referring themselves as a single mom

    • i have on buy and sell pages when looking for something “single mom in need of this because husband is out of town working and won’t be home for 2 weeks” I’m a single mom I do it all on my own single income no child support kids get no visitation and it’s super hard so these posts catch my eye and piss me off

    • I’m a single mother too. To three.

      But why does it piss you off??

      What does it matter to you? I don’t get it.

    • cause claiming your a single mom when you have a spouse working there ass of to provide for the household so that you can be home with the kids and get to enjoy the family time and they have to miss you just to give you that and they can’t even acknowledge all the hard work they do and claim to be single…. when I’m all reality they have no idea what it’s like to struggle being a single mom…….

    • Alexis Musik Alexis Musik says:

      Tiffany Cunningham because they’re miserable and angry, I feel sorry for their kids!

    • Tiffany Cunningham this post is completely my ex. After 14 years we finally split. After fighting back and forth for the last 3 years I finally got custody of my two kids and it’s going to be a tough battle getting them back into a structured life. Child service got involved just before I picked them up for Christmas break.

  38. I’m a single nana and oh what’s child support

  39. Marion Clark Marion Clark says:

    I have always wondered if you are divorced or whatever and call yourself a single mom if the Dad who is paying child support and getting whatever visits he managed to be allowed to have, is he therefore a single Dad?

  40. I’m a single mom. No partner at all no financial support at all. Doing it very successfully I may add too. Now I dont agree with the OP though. I know so many women (and men) who are alone with the kids most little babies for 3 weeks out of the month. Let me tell you it is not any easier for them those three weeks. Just becuase I may be doing it 100% of the time on my own doesn’t mean that they are not as tired, scared alone etc 80%. No one should ever down grade anyone else just becuase your situation is worse. Everyone is entitled to feel the way they feel.

    • Jackie MacNeil yeah and while they are alone with the kids the only stress they really have is them n the home…..she doesnt have to wonder if her second job will be enough to cover all the expenses…..she prob doesnt ride a bus daily to get to her 2 jobs … may be stressful being lonely for someone but when hes lifting the burden of finaces…..and the kids can call him at night…..and they know dads coming home from work…. how can u even say “Im a single parent” !!!

    • I dont hear anyone saying they are saying a single parent. But for that time they are alone and it’s not easy. I’m a single mom and dont ride the bus. And I know families where both parent work and ride the bus so..

    • Actually sometimes kids cant call their dad every day. There was multiple days where my husband would not get back into camp until past kids bed time. Days sometimes weeks would pass where my children would cry at bed time cause they hadnt had a chance to talk to their daddy. Like i said in my previous post im not even gonna try and compare the two. Because being a single mom is harder. But its still hard in different ways. Do you know how heartbreaking it is when your husbands working away so much he misses first steps, first words, first days of schools. Not too mention the fact that working up north puts the fact that your spouse is in a dangerous enviroment. Theres lots of deaths all the time up there and its scary. Like i said being a single mom is not even the question in here. We all know you guys work hard/harder than most. But why the fuck does it have to be a comparison in general? Why do we have to downplay other peoples struggles cause they may not be as hard as yours or the next persons. Why cant as moms we support each other and understand we all have our own lives and struggles and no ones should be played down.

    • And again. Not once have i heard any moms with spouses working out of town say im a single mom. Not once in these comments and not once have i heard it from another mom in that situation.

  41. I do agree with not calling yourself a “single mom” but believe it’s still not easy raising kids with dad coming and going all the time. It’s hard and emotional for everyone involved

  42. Mariela Jara Mariela Jara says:

    Steph Jackson so in essence becoming a single mom

  43. Mariela Jara Mariela Jara says:

    Steph Jackson so in essence becoming a single mom

  44. Some will always complain

  45. Tannis Fong Tannis Fong says:

    So, a person who is solo parenting most of the time is not worthy of sympathy? How very judgemental of you. That person’s spouse is away for long times with the military or another country or far up north and is not there to provide any support other than money. You have an ex to ask for help? Huh. So you *do* have some sort of support. If your other half has passed away, then my apologies.

    The rest of you should be supporting each other, not tearing people down.

  46. Mariela Jara Mariela Jara says:

    Steph Jackson and probably would kill the husband for being around too long lol

  47. I feel your frustration…so glad someone said it.

  48. I think what many mean to say is that they are the participating parent who raises the child independently while their spouse works out of town.

    • Barb Haekel Barb Haekel says:

      Still not the same in my eyes, I am a single mom of three because I’m widowed, not because my husband is gone for a little while. Both are not easy by any means but In my opinion, it is hardly the same.

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